The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (3/12/2009, Pt. 2).

Kapow!

Welcome to a review I've waited to do for a LONG time, of a comic I've wanted for a LONG time.

Not so much the first one, but the second. Regardless, thanks for sticking with the blog and I hope you enjoy this post as much as I enjoyed reading the comics.

Let's do this.


Dark Avengers Annual #1.

I'm pretty into ANYTHING Dark Reign right now, and as Siege approaches, I'm grabbing up anything that may be necessary.

Dark Avengers Annual #1 tells the tale of Noh-Varr's desertion. Noh-Varr was the Dark Avengers' Captain Marvel to coincide with his former identity as Marvel Boy. Upon realising that they were not the true roster of The Avengers, he fled, angry at Norman Osborn for having manipulated him. This occured back in Dark Avengers #6 and he hasn't been seen since.

This issue fills us in on what he has been up to during and after Utopia, right up until now. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere, though it's a nice issue...and then the last page happens.

Noh-Varr has spent his absense trying to contact his Kree homeworld in an attempt to find out his purpose on Earth. Frustrated by the lack of response, he takes a walk and begins monologuing etc. He has a chat with a girl at N.Y.U. one day while he is walking around, asking her about a fight she just had with her boyfriend. Before they can finish talking, Sentry shows up and tells Noh-Varr that Osborn requests his presense.

A fight breaks out in which Sentry naturally holds back, but the young Noh-Varr doesn't shy away. It's at this point that Bendis makes his goals for Noh-Varr much clearer; he is entering a stage in his life not unlike Spider-Man. Noh-Varr had been warned before that if he didn't grow up, bad things would happen and he seems to be heeding those words in this issue.

During the fight, the girl Noh-Varr was speaking to manages to reach into one of the bags he dropped. She pulls out a blaster and nails Sentry with it (Bit of a ridiculous excuse to push the plot along, but whatever). Fed up, Sentry flies off while Noh-Varr heads back to his own place where he finally receives contact from the Kree Empire. They inform him that his new purpose is to be protector of Earth and to understand humanity by studying under its great, most learned people.

He receives a more advanced version of Mar-Vell's nega bands (Former Captain Marvel) and transforms into a suited protector of Earth, complete with new uniform. Despite this uniform making him look like an idiot, it's nice to have another power player in this saga.

The Dark Avengers arrive at the scene of the fight and express disappointment of having lost Noh-Varr, who reappears in an alleyway not far from where they are. He meets the MacGuffin N.Y.U. girl again and tells her not to worry; they cannot trace him now that he is "changed". He thanks her for her help and she says that he should return sometime for companionship. This didn't need to be in the comic, it was pointless and a bit dumb; c'est la vie.

The next shot is of Noh-Varr being watched through goggles in a first-person view as he disappears. A voice says something about him being different or more powerful than intel suggested. This is when the big reveal happens, so SPOILER ALERT IF YOU WISH TO NOT READ THIS.

We see Captain America and a blond guy standing atop a roof. Captain America refers to the blonde guy as STEVE. This is Steve Rogers, the original Captain America...and he's NOT in uniform; Bucky is...still. Despite the fact that I am very puzzled by Marvel's decision to bring Steve Rogers back from the dead before Captain America: Reborn is finished, I am THRILLED at the hint that Bucky will remain as Captain America; at least I hope he will. All signs suggest that, in or after Siege, Steve will become Cap again and Bucky will be out on his ear. I really hope they just give Steve a place at S.H.I.E.L.D. and let Bucky stay as Cap though. It's time for a change, it really is.

It's been revealed in solicits - ones I accidentally read because forum idiots don't know how to use spoiler tags - that Steve DOES become Cap at some point during Siege, but whether he remains as Cap or not will have to be seen.

It's an ok issue; pretty middle-of-the-park Bendis fare. Not his best work, but again, I suppose it does what it needs to. I really do feel Dark Reign would have sucked and Siege wouldn't be as awaited as it is if he were not writing. This all depends on your perspective of Dark Reign ANYWAY. If you think it sucks then feel free to post a comment telling me why. It's all relative.

This brings me...pleasurably...to my final review of the weekend:


Siege: The Cabal.

Here it is! The first part of the Siege arc. The prologue that is Siege: The Cabal (Are you finding yourself asking what The Cabal is? See my Dark Reign Retrospective).

Man, oh man. When an issue opens with Osborn talking to someone who is convincing him to kick the Asgardians off Earth now that he's in power, and it's NOT Loki, you know something is off. When you see that it's him talking to himself, whilst looking at the Green Goblin mask...well, you start thinking: "Bendis may pull this shit off.".

The next scene does NO harm to the hype. Osborn gathers what's left of The Cabal and The Hood insists they press on with business instead of waiting for an apparantly late guest; this guest is Dr. Doom. Immediately he seethes that Osborn has bothered him again, and asks who the fiend is at the table. Already they're at each others' throats, it's so epic; you can just sense such a meltdown. Osborn tells him that it's Taskmaster (Deadpool villains represent!), a man in charge of one of his H.A.M.M.E.R. training camps, and that he is to replace Namor and Emma Frost due to their betrayals.

Doom snaps back and accuses Osborn of removing people that simply won't bend to his wishes, and replacing them with those that will. As soon as he said that, I was ready for shit to go down; Bendis is mouth-wateringly on-point with his dialogue here. After Doom accuses Osborn of holding them close just to pick them off, he says he is doing the opposite. While Osborn speaks his piece he reminds Doom that he helped him get Latveria back, and now wishes to do the same for Loki (Also attending, a member of The Cabal). He wishes to overthrow Asgard for Loki so that it can be removed from Earth. Feeling the hype yet, folks?

Doom says, in no uncertain terms, that he wants Namor brought to him alive and that Osborn must cease his pursuit of him (He and Namor made a deal in Dark Reign: The Cabal), to which Osborn denies. Doom says that he wasn't asking, he was telling. Osborn threatens Doom and Doom does likewise, telling him: "Bring Namor to me and I WON'T kill you.". At this point Osborn says to "bring him in", but it's not Namor, it's a silhouetted figure. He offers Doom once last chance, who says that he'd rather die than give in. Osborn gives the order to kill Doom and he is promptly blasted through a wall. Upon returning fire, he is blasted again by this mystery assailant before Osborn orders him to stop.

During this skirmish, Loki tells The Hood to get out of the building and that it's not his time yet; The Hood obliges and says that he's only doing so because Loki asked. I was wondering when they'd touch on the Loki/The Hood dynamic. A few issues ago in The New Avengers, Loki gives The Hood - a.k.a. Parker Robbins - some Asgardian runes in an attempt to help him get away from Dormammu (The evil entity who powered him/used him as an avatar before). At least that's what it seemed to be. I don't think it has been explained just what consequences this has had yet, but I'm betting it's going to be revealed here.

Anyway, on close examination of the robotic corpse it's revealed that it was not Doom, but a Doombot sent in his stead. The bot explodes and sheds millions of mechanical bugs that begin trying to wipe out the tower. Osborn's shields (He is in his Iron Patriot armour by the way) begin to fail as the tower is evacuated, but Sentry destroys the Doombot completely, rendering the bugs useless. Grabbing a mic-fitted bug off the floor, Osborn states that he knows Doom can hear him, scalding him for making such an arrogant and dumb mistake. He tells Doom that he has just declared war on a country many times the size of his, and that he'll regret it.

Ever the assured and captivating tyrant, Doom asks Osborn how many unwinnable wars he thinks he can win at once. In what was such a great piece of dialogue, Doom follows up and ends with: "You learned a lesson today; you do not lay hands on Victor von Doom. Next time you do I will not be so forgiving, to you OR your son.".

"...or your son."?! Whoa. If that's what I think it means, whoa.

In the next scene Osborn is seen trying to get permission to invade Asgard from the President, but he is denied. Failing this he asks Loki for permission, only to be countered with a proposition that sets Siege up in even more of an awaited, anticipated manner than before:

Loki: The superhuman civil war; do you know how it started?
Osborn: The registration bill passed through congress, lines were drawn...
Loki: No. No, there was an incident; an inciting incident. It could have happened anywhere to anyone, but it happened at a school. Children died, THEN lines were drawn.
Osborn: So, we need an incident. An Asgardian incident...
Loki: ...and THAT could be arranged.

All I'm going to say is that if you're even remotely interested in what I've been posting lately regarding Dark Reign...then you have ONE MONTH to catch up before what could be Marvel's best event in a long, long, LONG time.

If they fuck Siege up, it will be a monumental failure. If they succeed? Well, guess.

---

Seriously, get on that shit.

The next post should be after Monday sometime; definitely not until Monday at the earliest. Though I am considering writing out a massive Dark Reign checklist for people who want to acquire all the necessary reading material in time for Siege, it won't be a review.

Again, much love to you all for following my blog and thank you for reading about this passion of mine.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (3/12/2009, Pt. 1).

Woop!

I bought a grand total of eight comics today. It's highly likely that I will choose to finish the reviews tomorrow, but if I don't then pay no attention to ANYTHING I've just said. I may indeed finish it all tonight, though.

The Mast's Post-Post Writing Note: I did finish ALL eight reviews, but such is my excitement about the final two that I decided to post them tomorrow. If you're gonna read either of these, I'd rather it be that one. I don't want my reviews of those two particular issues getting lost in the mix. This post is awesome too, though. So, ya know, read on.

Without further ado, prepare for me to take your face off...or just be ready to read a lot. Your choice. Personally? I'd go with the face thing, that way you will be relieved if the most unpleasant thing you have to endure is lots of reading. Who wants their face taken off? Nobody...but I'm doing it anyway.


Haunt #3.

Let's take a moment to appreciate how gruesomely attractive that cover is and thank Todd McFarlane for such visual delicacies.

Haunt is three issues in now, so let me give you the very quick low-down here. Kurt Kilgore is a mercenary who is sent on a mission to capture a man named Dr. Shillinger and his notes; simple, right? EEEH! Wrong, McFly! Upon discovering how sinister and downright sick this guy is, Mr. I-Kill-for-Money-with-No-Questions-Asked suddenly has an attack of the moral flu. He kills the doctor and makes off with the notes, freeing and rescuing all the disfigured test subjects that he finds.

As he is leaving, he witnesses someone else leaving with the notes. Kurt is drugged and subsequently kidnapped soon after. Growing increasingly angry by the loss of the notes, and Kurt's betrayal, he is beaten severely while interrogated. This fails, Kurt doesn't talk and he is killed. At his funeral, his ghost appears to his brother, Daniel Kilgore; Daniel is a gritty, cynical priest with nothing left in his life. He tells his rather distraught and shocked brother to go to his grieving, still-living girlfriend's house. Daniel is understandably reluctant but eventually goes ahead with what Kurt asks.

He spends the night on the couch after consoling Amanda (Kurt's girlfriend) and is awoken by Kurt's ghost. Kurt tells Daniel that he must leave with Amanda, urgently. Before they can do so, two agents burst in and fire at Daniel. Kurt leaps in front of the bullets and, in bonding with Daniel's body, absorbs the bullets. They first stand together as Haunt and swiftly decapitate the two agents in quite a brutal first display.

Throughout this issue and up through issue #2 we discover more about the relationship of the brothers and Haunt's abilities. Let me interject here and pay special mention to the frankly astounding artwork. It truly is an amazing, nasty slice of '90s-esque McFarlane on top of Ryan Ottley's pencilling.

Haunt dispatches a few more agents and eventually fights what appears to be their first major villain, an assassin named Cobra. Cobra proves capable of holding his own, but only because Daniel and Kurt find it hard to work as two minds in one body. Kurt orders Daniel to go limp (Like most male priests; oh snap, religious satire) and not fight his control. Cobra escapes unharmed after the fight. Kurt tells Daniel to follow him to a house nearby, and the bewildered Daniel follows along. This house, occupied in disguise by two unwitting stoners, is a secret entrance to Kurt's ex-agency. As Daniel enters, he finds guns pointed at him, as the agents cannot see Kurt's ghost accompanying him.

Haunt #3 starts here. Kurt tells Dan not to make any sudden moves, which he ignores, swiftly receiving a tranq dart in the head for his trouble. While locked up with two of the lesser mutated survivors from Shillinger's complex, a women - strangely resembling Tia Dalma from the Pirates of the Caribbean series - confronts them both. Yes, both. She can see Kurt's ghost and informs Dan that they are tied together by being relatives by blood, preventing Kurt from passing on. She refers to them as Haunt for the first time and that's pretty much all we get on the subject.

It's a pretty slow issue (Bound to happen sooner or later and I'd rather it happen just after an exciting start), but it picks up again with the action when the guy who killed Kurt somehow appears in their cell. Kurt tries to wake Dan, but he is too late as Dan is stabbed with a sedative. They transform into Haunt and a fight ensues. It's a fairly brutal fight, as to be expected, but there's something additionally smart about it.

During the fight, the would-be assassin scores a massive knife wound to Haunt, still trying to fight off the sedative). It's a small, but important detail that really grounds the character and puts across the point that these two are very, very new to this. As terrifyingly intimidating as Haunt looks, and is, Kirkman is not prepared to let him swagger invincibly about, decapitating all in his path. At least not all the time. He CAN be harmed and it instils a sense of curiosity as to whether or not he's going to make it out of ANY fight unscathed.

Haunt eventually overpowers the man, cutting off his arm and, in a SWEEEEEET move, impaling his head. He does this by curb-stomping the guy with his morphable sharp tendrils a-la Carnage. It really was an "Oooh!" moment. So delicious. People have said it's excessively violent, this comic, but it needs to be. I am primarily a Marvel head, but think of it like movies. You can conceivably make mainstream horror, but Takeshi Miike will always have the edge because he's independent and has a flair for violence.

The issue continues with Dan being interrogated by Kurt's former agency. Previously they did not accept his answers and even in light of seeing Haunt, Beth (One of the agency members) is still skeptical. She says she needs proof that Kurt is really there, she needs to be told something that only Kurt knows. Whispering in Dan's ear, Kurt advises him to say the words "Autumn Leaves". Upon saying this, Beth leaves the room in tears, revealing that she finally believes Dan. It's at this point that Dan finally breaks down.

Dan angrily accuses Kurt of having slept with Beth. Why? In a rather cheerless and depressing twist, it is revealed that Dan and Amanda were together before she left him for his brother. Even despite this, Kurt cheated on her with Beth. Dan is distraught that he went through what he did, even accepting it because he thought they were happy, only for Kurt to disrespect the woman he gave up to him by cheating on her. It really is a madly evocative scene. I was surprised at how much I felt for this guy having known him for three issues. It really did justify what was becoming the rather cliche grizzled-and-jaded-man-of-the-cloth thing.

The issue ends with a woman, apparantly a double-agent, entering the hidden base by request of the agency. She's on the phone to a rather large, intimidating man who has ties to Cobra and seems to be the big boss of whoever the bad guys are. She assures him that her identity is secure and he suggests she better be right.

I REALLY wish this could have been a shorter review, but again, whenever I dip into a series that I've not reviewed yet, I have to give a retrospective or a run-down on it. Forgive me for that, but hey, it was for your benefit.

I am typically a Marvel head, but I had heard of this upcoming series from a friend. I was reminded of it by Andrew - a friend at Gosh! Comics (The ONLY place in London to get new comics) - while in there picking up my weekly subscriptions some time ago. I figured that it was the first issue so where would the harm be in trying?

I really, really enjoy this series so far. It's SO cliche, but I get the feeling it's stepping away from that a bit. Kirkman is a talented writer and McFarlane is a legend with a taste for the profane and nasty; there's no reason why this cannot develop into a must-read series. The art, again, is absolutely gorgeous. Some have said Ottley is better than he shows on this comic; I'd agree, but he's still doing some stellar work.

Pick up the trade paperback if you're interested. I doubt it'll be until there are five or six issues out. Keep your eyes open or keep checking back here. Leave me a comment if you're interested and I'll keep you updated (You CAN feel free to leave comments by the way, guys! It's what they're there for).

I look forward to the next issue. It'll be entering a crossroads soon; let's hope it goes the right way.


Uncanny X-Men #518.

I'm not too sure if this title came out early or if #517 came out late; I'm inclined to think the latter. Regardless, this continues on with the Nation X storyline. I didn't forsee much happening in this issue, considering that the actual Nation X five-parter begins next week, but this is still quite a weak issue.

Quite literally all that happens is that Cyclops psychically goes into Emma Frost's mind to try freeing her from The Void (A dark entity that formerly/possibly currently possessed/possesses Sentry). She has a tiny sliver of The Void inside her due to having gone into Sentry's mind to help him before. Fearing what it may mean if it gains control, she stays in her diamond form to combat this.

Cyclops, using Professor X as a psychic link, goes inside her mind and is confronted with many mental sides to Emma Frost's persona. Eventually, Emma wakes up in her normal form and appears to be cured. She informs us, however, that The Void stopped pursuing her and has now transferred to Cyclops; it wanted him all along.

I am so sorry, but I really am starting to not give a fuck. If this Nation X story is going to be Cyclops' version of  The Dark Phoenix saga then, quite honestly, I'm out. I had enough of that when it happened; it doesn't need to be revisited. Truly.

A sub-plot is emerging also; Beast is still bitter about being tortured while Cyclops waited for the right time to rescue him. Not to mention that Magneto being on the island/Utopia is not sitting well with him either. The preview art for #519 has Beast carrying a bag, so presumably he's leaving. Oh, and the island is in dire straits as there seems to be too many people and too much weight for it to keep afloat.

Again, I'm sorry, but *YAWN*. I only started reading this comic because it seemed to tie into Dark Reign (See the part regarding Utopia in my Dark Reign retrospective). Once this is all over, I'm out. That's if I'm not done before then.

Unless this gets better or Deadpool makes an appearance, I shan't be buying anymore. I'll give it until Nation X #2 to decide.


Nova #32.

This is a Realm of Kings tie-in. Please read previous Realm of Kings reviews to keep-up.

After doing a patrol near the planet Shard - perilously close to falling into The Fault - Nova met up with Darkhawk. Despite being a fugitive for being accused of murdering former Shi'ar Empress Lilandra, Nova decides he is innocent (He is, so that works out nicely) and follows him to reconcile. Before they can do so, they are sucked into The Fault.

Nova and Darkhawk spend their time in what appears to be ancient Egypt. Confronted by the god-like cosmic despot - Sphinx - Nova is informed that he was selected because he is a fearsome warrior and that a battle against the Djinns will occur momentarily. Confused, Nova asks what he means, but is interrupted by gigantic models of deities made from sand. As Sphinx fights them, Nova is hesitant and Sphinx leaves, disappointed.

As Darkhawk and Nova wander the desert, they discover Reed Richards. Reed reveals he too has been abducted by Sphinx, but from MANY years prior to 2010. This past version of Reed Richards attempts to share information with Nova to figure out what's going on. Nova and Darkhawk try to fly off and escape, but Nova smacks into some kind of invisible wall whilst Darkhawk continues. His path eventually blocked by more sand monsters. Awakening at dawn, Nova is again met with Reed Richards who begs him to rest, but Nova insists he leave to find Darkhawk and discover what the stirring commotion is outside.

Someone emerges from the distance, at first thought to be Darkhawk, but revealed as Black Bolt! Naturally, since he is currently dead, Nova deduces that this is another past version of Black Bolt, akin to Reed Richards. In his arms he carries a mummified figure, but before Nova can help, a gigantic (And I do mean gigantic; amazing artistic moment) lizard creature emerges from the ground. Nova swiftly dispatches it and heads to the mummified body. Unwrapping it, he discovers that it's none other than Namorita, the cousin of Prince Namor who dies in the events that caused the Civil War.

The issue ends here and it left me with one lingering thought; damn you Dan Abnett.

I swear this guy is making me spend more money. Everything he touches turns to cosmic gold this year. War of Kings, Guardians (From what I've read), the Realm of Kings one-shot, both Realm of Kings mini-series' and Nova. I love Nova, but I've only been sporadically keeping up with his latest series due to all the other stuff I buy. Now I have to add the trade paperbacks to my wish-list this Christmas.

I'm assuming Namorita isn't the one that is currently dead, but a past version like Reed and Black Bolt. Even still, it's a mighty cliff-hanger and I'm very curious how all of these on-goings start tying into Realm of Kings. I hope it's somewhat significant and not something I could have easily gone without buying, but we'll see. Regardless, these issues are not just good tie-ins, they're legitimately solid comics. Impactful tie-ins or not, I really don't feel bad about purchasing these.

The art is very good, not the best, but good, with moments of outstanding brilliance. The dialogue is a right balance of personal characterisation and above all else, Abnett knows how to get shit done. Whether it's one comic or five, he never makes you feel like nothing has been achieved in an issue (Hey, Daniel Way. Sup?).

This man knows how to write cosmic and political action fantasy. That's for damn sure.

Dan Abnett, I salute you sir.


Thor #604.

As this is currently one of the series' I'm enjoying most leading up to Siege, I was very much looking forward to this issue.

After ripping out Queen/Goddess Kelda's heart in the previous issue, Doom has grown more and more attached to the idea of cutting up Asgardians in pursuit of eternal life. Bill's death at the hands of Loki's warriors spurred the other Asgardians into action. Well, not so much action as it was a gathering to say "We've had quite enough of this, thank you.".The Asgardians finally decide, in this issue, that war is the answer. They agree to declare war on Doom and Loki, but are indecisive as to whether or not to include Thor, due to his exile from Asgard.

Loki is brought (Brought or comes of his own accord, not sure) before the Asgardians, with King Balder telling him in no uncertain terms that his punishment will be death. Loki begins lying through his teeth, claiming to not have known what Doom was planning and asks for forgiveness. These efforts are rebuffed, but they are unable to kill Loki without trial, due to him being an adopted son of Odin.

Trying to summon Thor and failing leads to some of the Asgardians feeling as if he has disrespected them, whilst others surmise that he simply isn't receiving the message. Elsewhere, an injured Donald Blake is on the phone to Jane Foster who is pleading to him to reconsider any rash actions he may take. She reminds him that he is not Thor, just his mortal host and that he can be killed. Blake reassures her that he has an idea, and she does the same.

This is where things get rrrather exciting. Blake contacts Reed Richards and asks for his findings after studying parts of the altered Doombot that attacked them in the last issue. Richards says that he cannot directly trace it due to the genius with which the tracks were covered, but only a shortlist of people would be capable. Can you tell where this is going? Oh, so exciting.

The Asgardians arrive at Castle Doom and request that Doom step down and turn over whatever remains he has of their Asgardian bretheren. Doom cockily (God, I love Dr. Doom) dismisses the first request, but sarcastically suggests he can help with the latter. At this moment, the previously vivisected Endrik comes froth, brimming with horrifying cybernetic implants and hailing Doom as his new master. Many other altered Asgardians also pour forth from the castle, and the Asgardians reluctantly engage them in battle.

Everything is looking remarkably bleak until a voice from above Doom says: "A friend of mine was struck by machines of destruction. Its maker managed to conceal - from all genius - whose hand wrought them. Who but Doom could have achieved such a task? He may be one of the most learned mortals of Midgard; yet today he has a hard lesson to learn.".

As the last line is said, Doom casts his glance upward and sees Thor, backed by the night sky filled with lightning, about to strike down on him with Mjolnir.

Thor is not as powerful as he once was, but he's still one of the most powerful beings in existence. This must mean that Dr. Doom has a mighty trick up his sleeve - ever the sly genius - with which to combat a god.

This was the first issue written by Kieran Gillen, and I have to say that I see no decline in quality. He still needs to get to grips with Thor's archaic dialogue, but besides that he seems very competent at writing all players involved.

Do I really have another title to add to my subscription?


Deadpool Team-Up #898.

Looking forward to an issue of Deadpool, or an issue he's in, is a rare thing for me nowadays.

I will always buy them, but ever since issue #13 of his main series, I've been madly disappointed in it. I love Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth, as you can read in a previous post, but it's not ideal Deadpool. Fred van Lente's take on Deadpool in Deadpool #900 (A mock number, obviously) was suitably ballsy considering he didn't speak for most of it (Van Lente pulled it off, could you? Yeah, exactly). He also produced a really enjoyable slice of Deadpool comedy in Deadpool Team-Up #899 - the third Deadpool series that's following on and counting down from #900 - which was quite funny.

Deadpool Team-Up is a series that does what it says on the cover. It's not in continuity, so I doubt it's canon, but we will see Deadpool team up with a different guest star or guest stars each month.

Issue #898 had me way more excited than I expected. Why? Because Mike Benson was writing it. Mike Benson would be a candidate to write Deadpool's main series; he was my top candidate until recently (See X-Force Annual review further down). Not only did he write an overlooked gem of a five-parter (Deadpool: Suicide Kings), but he also wrote a story in Deadpool #900. It was my favourite story out of the book, simply because it was dark. Real dark. It captured the troubled side of Deadpool that nobody had captured since Joe Kelly's '90s run.

Enter Deadpool #898, written by Mike Benson.

I can't really say much about this story. A mob boss named Pablo Espinosa has ordered that the head of a dude he dislikes be brought to him and we see the head being brought to him at the beginning. A flashback occurs and the story begins. It opens with Deadpool digging for the head while singing Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC; I knew this issue would be, at least, good when I saw this.

He is knocked unconscious by two large men, later revealed as the tech-savvy Zapata Brothers. When he confronts them at a bar, asking why they took the head, they apologise profusely and say they didn't know it was him. It turns out that they are huge fans of Deadpool and decide to aid him in getting the money for the head.

We return to the present and The Zapata Brothers are presenting the head to Espinosa. He refuses to pay them, telling them to leave the coffin - they brought the whole body as an extra - and walk away with their lives. Outside, they ask what's taking "him" so long. At that moment we cut inside to find Deadpool in the coffin. He jumps out, decapitates one man and kills the rest.

The issue ends with him and The Zapata Brothers playing cards as they tell him about another million dollar bounty that needs collecting. Deadpool says that this could be the start of a beautiful friendship and the issue ends.

All in all, it was fun; a fun and enjoyable issue. It's still not good enough for Deadpool; he's still being used as a comedy vehicle, but it was nice. I am pleased that I got to see him decapitate someone and he even roundhouse kicks some guy in front of a train after promising not to kill him. It's not the ideal level of lethality I'd like to see Deadpool display, but I'll take what I can get.

It's just very sad when the best Deadpool writers are the ones NOT working on his main series.


X-Force Annual #1.

I am not actually going to be reviewing this comic as such; I do not read X-Force currently.

The only reason I bought this was because it has a Deadpool mini-story entitled Un-Deadpool. Robert Kirkman (Haunt, Marvel Zombies) wrote the issue, and I was quite excited to see another person take a crack at my boy. I was surprised to see regular X-Force writers Craig Kyle and Chris Yost take a back seat, because they were the ones writing the mini-story.

I really went into this expecting nothing. Nothing at all.

What I got was the most enjoyable, grin-inducing slice of Deadpool I had read since the early 2000s. These guys GET Deadpool. For one thing, they didn't use the RIDICULOUS plot-point of him having two independent voices in his head (Drop it, Marvel. It doesn't work. I know you're trying, but stop that). They made him lethal, they made him bad ass and they made him corrosively hilarious! Not as corrosive or snarky as The Circle Chase or early X-Force-era Deadpool, but amazing nonetheless.

I realised that this is why I hate the two-voices-in-the-head thing; it's like when someone is having a really entertaining conversation with you and someone keeps chiming in. They did away with that in this story and it was better for it.

Deadpool is on Utopia and we first hear him speaking from an outside view. After zooming in, Deadpool is seen playing with two Fantastic Four action figures with himself as the hero. It's just so typical of Deadpool; I cannot explain how well these guys get Deadpool's psyche. The very fact that even in make-believe, he's the main hero and providing commentary on the cliches of heroes is just Wade Wilson to a T. When speaking as the Sue Storm-Richards action figure, he says: "Why would you save me; a flexible gymnast-slash-flight attendant, but still only human woman?". That kind of self-aware commentary on cliche is just...it warmed my heart to see Deadpool get that back.

He hears screaming outside, so he pokes his head out the door and says something like: "Was that a happy scream, or an 'Oh God! Please help me!' scream? Because I'd like to be involved either way...". It's this kind of Deadpool writing that reminds me of years passed; I used to laugh my head off on the bus ride home whilst reading Joe Kelly's comics. The only other comic that really came close to being as funny, unexpectedly, was Van Lente's EXCELLENT run on The Incredible Hercules.

The story is entertaining enough; The Acolytes attacked the girl, despite being undead - though not zombies - and say they're there to kill Magneto. Deadpool agrees to "go get that bastard" and is informed by Loa - the girl he saved - that he's joined the X-Men. This causes Deadpool to call Cyclops' cell phone during this massive attack (I'm guessing the Predator X attack, though it's never stated) and asks him if it's true.

A fight breaks out between The Acolytes and Deadpool, with Deadpool kicking a majority of ass. It was SO cool to finally see Deadpool have a fight in which he wasn't the punching bag; he was one of the most feared assassins and mercs in Marvel, then he slowly became a mere annoyance. He actually slices an arm off, graphically. SO good.

He runs off, leaving the girl to The Acolytes only to return armed to the teeth. The sheer amount of excessive weaponry he has is another Deadpool trait that Kyle and Yost seem to use to full effect. He utters the line: "To me, my guns!" and another fight breaks out. Obviously he does get beat up on, but that wouldn't be a Deadpool fight if he didn't. I'm just happy he paraphrased Surfer. Big fanboy moment for me.

Eventually he uses Loa's phasing ability to re-kill The Acolytes due to promising Cyclops HE wouldn't kill. Naturally, he blames it all on her and the story ends.

AMAZING.

I am both happy and sad in equal measure. Happy because there are writers capable of writing Deadpool right, sad because the odds of these guys writing Deadpool on a continual basis is slim to none. I just realised that they also wrote Deadpool when they did Messiah War in the current X-Force comics. He was awesome in that, too. I wonder why I didn't remember that right away.

Hmm. I haven't read the main story yet, but I don't even know if I will. I bought it for Deadpool and it was more than I hoped for. If you're a Deadpool fan as frustrated with his current treatment as I am, this comic is for YOU.

---

Thank you again for reading my blog; I truly appreciate it. I know it's a lot to take in at once, especially if you're not into comics, but I thank you for sticking with me and supporting the blog.

By the way, feel free to comment on these posts, that's what the comment links are for!

Until tomorrow, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: The Resistance by Muse.

Bang!

I sort of feel as though I may be bombarding you people with post after post; I apologise. I've just had a reasonably large succession of things to talk about recently. It's Tuesday today, so at the very least you'll have a WHOLE Wednesday free of reading material!

Right now, though, ou're here to hear me talk good stuff. To the review!


The Resistance by Muse.

I've loved Muse for a long time now. When I was first listening to them, even people in England were saying "Who?". This was during the days when everyone compared them to Radiohead because Matt Bellamy is English and has a high voice.

From Showbiz - a fairly enjoyable alternative rock effort, packed with a few gems - Muse progressed forward, as any worthwhile band tends to. Origin of Symmetry was the album that caused a lot of people to discover Muse as a band they wanted to hear more of, mostly due to New Born being released as a single. It felt more complete and you could tell that with such epics as Citizen Erased and the searing Microcuts, Muse had started to define their own style. Not wholly original, but not entirely alike to anything at the time.

Absolution sacrificed the sheer number of memorable single songs for a more cohesive, single sound. It worked brilliantly. I still love Origin of Symmetry a bit more, but Absolution was easily their most ambitious album at this point. Even though it wasn't packed with memorable songs, it did contain the flawless Butterflies and Hurricanes, as well as the scattered sharpness of Stockholm Syndrome. Absolution saw a re-release in the States six months after its original release and, as expected, Muse were never to be a small band again. Black Holes and Revelations came next and whilst Muse continued the ambition, it felt as though they had compromised their sound; I hated Supermassive Black Hole when it came out, though it has massively grown on me. The album felt stilted and a bit patchy, but still very good. It even contained what could be considered Muse's best song in Knights of Cydonia. It certainly contains some absolutely dynamite guitar work from the brilliant, yet overrated, Matt Bellamy.

So, here we are. Album number five, The Resistance. Let's get down to business and what everyone's been asking me: "David, what do you think of The Resistance?/Is it good?".

My answer is that it's not bad. It's worth a listen. Uprising is a decent album opener, but I simply cannot get past the fact that it sounds far too much like White Wedding by Billy Idol. Not the whole song, mind you, just one of the keyboard melody lines. That's the story of my experience with this album, you see. There are so many things I'd enjoy if there weren't just as many things I can't get past.

Resistance is a good song, with a twinkly piano intro that drags me back to a time when they had all kinds of lonely-sounding b-sides (Do We Need This?, The Gallery and Shine to be exact). Unnatural Selection has a pretty dynamite guitar riff at the beginning and changes flavour enough to keep me interested. The sound is reminiscent of Absolution-era Muse, I noticed. MK Ultra is the only other song I really enjoyed besides the three part finale; all the rest I had issues with for reasons I'll explain soon.

I never really cared for Matt Bellamy's lyrics, let that be said. Truth be told, I don't really pay attention to lyrics in general. If I like the lyricist, I'll make the effort to read them on their own; but they never affect my opinion of a song in any way. It's music, not words. I buy music for music. Regardless, this album's lyrics STINK of that just-out-of-college smugness that a lot of people have. The lyrics of this album really bring Matt Bellamy's fascination and belief of conspiracy theory to the forefront, and it sort of makes me lose respect for the guy.

I won't get into it here, but in a nutshell I'd say that conspiracy theorism is ludicrous and stupid. It's one of the things that attaches itself inescapably to this album, and I can't ignore it. Additionally, Muse seem to have levelled out in a way that doesn't really work for them on this album.

Every song seems to be one of their influences as performed by them. It doesn't feel wholly like Muse anymore, it feels like Muse-Play-Queen or Matt Bellamy Plays the Hits of Chopin. Matt Bellamy even goes so far as to include a piece of Chopin's Nocturne in E Flat Major on the end of United States of Eurasia. Speaking of that song, it's the prime example of what has gone wrong for the band. They seem way too concerned with incorporating their own influences that it's become ridiculous. There are points in this song where I started to worry if Brian May was going to sue them for copyright infringement, or Freddie Mercury's estate would come a-knockin' at the House of Muse asking for royalties.

The last three songs - the Exogenesis movement - are suitably epic and rather astounding, with Matt Bellamy turning in a heavenly vocal performance. One that may possibly be his best. Yet again, though, it just feels like Muse doing classical adaptation; not Muse playing Muse. To that end, including crunchy guitar in a song full of orchestration is great, but it won't convince me of progression.

I would love to say they are much better than to be reduced to this, but I really am not sure if I can anymore. I don't think Muse have anywhere left to go, personally. They will not go back to writing the punchy, memorable alternative rock monsters of yesteryear; but they clearly do not have it in them to progress on their own steam. To a more casual and less demanding mind, this album may be seen as a massive progression. To the likes of me, at the risk of sounding pretentious, it's borderline kareoke.

To summarise: The Resistance is very enjoyable, it has some tracks you may like or love. It is definitely worth a listen, you've nothing to lose in doing so. Unfortunately, it is so peppered with influence instead of inspiration that despite its good graces, it reaches almost pantomime levels of parody.

---

Before I go, I'd like to give you a couple of heads-ups:

1). I've done calculations and it seems I may have as many as seven or eight comics to buy on Thursday. Considering that it's tiresome to review six in a day, I may do the Thurs/Fri split again. The entire weekend will be free and you probably won't see another review until Tuesday, maybe even next Thursday. Regardless, thanks to everyone who is reading this. I've received a great amount of positive feedback and that's very much appreciated considering how new the blog is.

2). On a similar note, I have a MAJOR update. In the near future I will be making an update of unprecedented proportions. I kid you not, people, this is a BIG deal for such a new blog as mine. Keep your eyes peeled.

That's all for now, true believers.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: 2010's Biggest Treat.

Ok, first thing's first.

I may review The Resistance by Muse tomorrow. That'll give me a day's rest until another Thursday/Friday reviewing a bundle of comics.

Secondly, New Moon opening day gross world record:  $72.7 million.

Now, consider the critical and fan-based acclaim that Iron Man had WITHOUT being massively hyped. Got it?

Then look at this:



...ready?



You sure?



SURE?! OK, SCROLL DOWN!










Let's show Twilight what an opening day record really is.

Go see this movie on the day it comes out. Hell, if you can't find the time, just buy the ticket! It's only right!

Let's reclaim the geek throne from this turgid species of tweenager.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: Spider-Man Movies & Why Comic Fans Should Be Ignored.

Welcome!

I recently had the misfortune of being caught in quite a dilemma today. You see, I wanted to talk about how the Spider-Man movies went from the first magical, live-action blockbuster re-telling of a Marvel character's story, to a complete and utter crap-a-thon.

To do this, I had to refresh my memories of the movies in question. I should say I had to freshen them up, as my memories of the last one are not fresh by any means.

The first movie was very good except for the fact that Spider-Man wasn't funny and Peter Parker had such a meek voice that it was laughable. He'd always been the perpetual geek, but so am I, and I don't speak like I'm in a fucking library 24/7!

The second was action packed, much more so than the first one, and was generally an excellent flick. The problems from the first one carried over to this one, however, and the entire film was ruined by the pathetic mask-removal scene and the mushy ending that followed.



Combined, they could both be a LOT worse. The third installment could honestly not do much to be any worse; it really couldn't.

Sam Raimi has had people, fans mostly, on his ass about including Venom ever since this franchise was announced. Understandably so, though; he's a big player in the Spider-Man mythos. He didn't include Venom in the first or second movies, not so much as a peek of Eddie Brock either. This would have been fine except for the fact that he committed the cardinal sin; he caved to fan pressure when it made the least sense.

Spider-Man 3 introduces Eddie Brock, Peter Parker's rival and general douchebag (Both in the sense that he's a general douche and if he was in an army of douchebags he would be ranked as General Douchebag). He's not a douchebag in the comics, he's a sly and menacing tank with slightly unhinged tendancies. The douchebaggery comes courtesy of Topher Grace, who essentially just plays Brock as a blonde-haired version of Eric from That '70s Show.

It ends up that Brock becomes Venom in one movie; he's never given a name and the feud between him and Parker is never given time to fully gestate. At least not in a way that would warrant such a vicious grudge on Brock's part. To cap it all off, he gets killed at the end.

What a way to introduce one of the greatest foes in Marvel history, Mr. Raimi. Do I blame him? For caving, yes. For including Venom, no. Who do I blame? Strap yourselves in because this is gonna come right out of leftfield. Here it comes...! OH MY GOD!

THE FANS! I blame the fans. Those over-delusional idiots with such a gross sense of entitlement that it makes me utterly nauseous.

They spent ALL this time bitching that Sam Raimi didn't include Venom, then when he does they want to spend time ripping the dude for it. If you are ANY kind of Spidey fan, you would know that the only logical bitching to be done would have been at the beginning: "Raimi, you idiot! Why haven't you set up a feud between Brock and Parker in the FIRST movie?". By the second movie, when he wasn't included, you should have known that it was way past time to include that character.



Here's how I would have done it.

Introduce Brock in the first movie when Parker starts work at the Bugle. This would allow you to build up a rivalry and somewhat of a competitive edge between the two. The second movie would allow for an expansion on this as a sub-plot. Perhaps even have Peter Parker expose Brock as a fake near the middle of the movie, then let Brock disappear with rage after getting fired.

At the very END of Spider-Man 2, you see Spider-Man listening to the radio. It's revealed that there has been a tragic space shuttle crash landing in the Hudson River and he webswings off to help. Do ya see where I'ma goin' yet, folks?

Spider-Man 3 rolls around and you have set up a perfect scenario! Through Peter's flashback narrative we see him save those on the shuttle as a mysterious organism escapes through the cracked hull or something, having hitch-hiked a ride back. It attaches itself to his suit and that sets up the story.

This would lead into the whole story about how he eventually gets the black suit, it changes him for the worst and he sheds it in the bell tower.

Soon after this, you would see Parker getting threatening letters and phonecalls from an unidentifiable culprit. To cap it off, a bank robbery occurs at the hands of someone the police and news stations are reporting as Spider-Man.

Perturbed, Peter goes to check this out and comes face to face with Venom. They fight and Venom reveals himself as Eddie Brock. He tells the story of how he became Venom through a flashback narrative; he was in the church praying for the death of Parker as the symbiote dripped through the cracks and down onto him.



There, you've successfully got yourself a great villain that causes no need for any additional villains; you've managed to include Venom AND you've done it in a way that has been built up and makes perfect sense.

That is the only way Venom would have worked. Maybe not to my EXACT ideas, but the two movie build-up for sure.

What's the point I'm getting at? Any fan should have known that Venom was a bad idea.

Spider-Man 4 (Oh yes, the cash-spider has more milk webs to spin yet) has a release date of Summer 2011. Rumour has it, and it has been circulating for a while now, that Carnage is to be a villain in the next one. Not just Carnage, but The Lizard and Black Cat will also be a character that's included.

The Lizard makes more sense, especially when you consider that Kurt Connors has been in two, maybe even three of the movies.

Black Cat would work because she's not necessarily a villain. Even though they run the risk of over-crowding, this might work.

Carnage? No. Just no. You fucked up ONE symbiote story, Raimi. Please do not try to include another. You will have to explain how the symbiote replicated despite being on Earth for about a week and then getting destroyed, even though you didn't do a good job of explaining what the FIRST one was.

Carnage is badass and loved by a great many fans. Trust me when I tell you that the real fans would rather dream about how great Carnage could be in a movie, than have you put him in and ruin it.

It's precisely why I hated Surfer in Fantastic Four's sequel; I wanted to see him in a movie, but my desire to see him in a movie was over-rode by my desire for him to be left as is. Why? Because there's always a greater chance of it being shit than good. A Deadpool movie has the potential to be Marvel's best movie, but will it? See my point.

Sam Raimi will never read this, so ultimately I'm just ranting onto the net with my herd (You lot).

If you're reading this and you're a fan, will you do me a favour? Do not push for Carnage. Do not be one of those people. Only fans of the cartoon and noobs think he would work, and we'd all have to suffer for it.

That's my rant out and over with.

Thursday's a while away; in all likelihood I may squeeze an album review in between now and then. Chances are it'll be on The Resistance by Muse. That's one that a lot of folks have asked me about, so keep your eyes peeled.

Also, coming near the end of December is my epic Best of 2009 post. On the agenda for that banquet will be:

• My Top 10 Albums of the Year list.

• Best Comic/Comic Series of the Year award.

• Worst Comic/Comic Series of the Year award.

• Best Comic Writer of the Year award.

• Best Comic Artist of the Year award.

• Various Character awards (Best/Worst/Most Improved/Most Neglected etc).

With all that said, that's all I have for now. Thanks again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Looks Back: Vol. 1 (X-Men #12).

Welcome back and shut up.*

I always knew I'd use this page for retro reviews some day; I just wasn't sure which comic I would be reviewing first. Retro, to me, can be from many decades ago; or five years ago. Anything that's half a decade old or more I consider to be "old" enough.

I was browsing through my monolithic collection of comics and found myself at a loss. Should I do a Deadpool 101? Should I do a Silver Surfer 101? I wasn't sure whether to do a retro review on an actual comic, comic series or a character 101.

The decision I came to hit me while I was in Comicana; a nifty little comics store that specialises in back issues and older comics. Sitting in a sleeve on the wall was the comic I had been eye-ing for a while now. It wasn't in great condition, which bothered me considering I had paid £33 for it. The letters page is the only thing missing, and the pages themselves are readable. All things considered, I considered it a fair enough purchase.

Upon reading it again (My friend owns it; I've never owned it myself) I decided that this would make quite a neat review to do. It's not going to take long, but it involves a fairly central character in Marvel lore and happens to be a very good read.

So, without further ado I present to you;


X-Men #12.

You may be asking yourself: "What is so special about issue #12 of X-Men, Sir Mast?". It's special because not only is this issue - all the way from July, 1965 - the first appearance and origin of the infamous Juggernaut, but it's also the origin of Professor X.

The issue opens with the X-Men running to the war room to find a distraught Professor X trying to turn off Cerebro's alarms. Upon asking what has him so spooked, Professor X tells his X-Men that they are about to face a foe unlike they've ever faced before. This leads into a flashback story, which is essentially what the comic is.

At his father's funeral (He was killed in a bomb blast) we see a young Charles talking to himself, recounting what has happened. His father's collegue survived and soon begins to romantically approach Charles' mother, Sharon. His father's collegue was Dr. Kurt Marko, father of Cain Marko; a pig nosed, red-haired bully.

Cain hates Charles. Bullying him every chance he gets, Cain attempts to make Charles' life a living Hell. As they both attend school, Charles' powers begin to blossom. He is a success in all classes and all sports as a result of being psychic. This leaves Cain even more bitter and hateful toward him.

Soon after the marriage Sharon discovers that Kurt is only interested in her for her fortune. She dies soon after and Charles interrupts Kurt and Cain discussing the inheritance. A fight breaks out in the laboratory and a mass of dangerous chemicals are spilled. Dr. Marko saves the boys, but dies himself; giving Cain all the reason he needs to solidify a life-long hate grudge against Charles.

One day, Cain offers to give Charles a ride to school. Charles accepts, ever naive, and discovers that Cain's kindness was nothing but a ruse. Cain drives the car over a cliff in an attempt to kill Charles, but is not successful.

I should mention that in between these flashbacks, the alarms all around the mansion are going crazy as the menace approaches. Charles sends out the X-Men to set up all kinds of perimiter defenses and booby traps before they return and he continues with the story.

Time passes and both Cain and Charles end up serving in the Korean war. During a rather heavy firefight in which they are both pinned down, Cain runs off and hides in an immense cave. Charles pursues him and discovers that it's the legendary (Despite NOBODY having heard of it before. Oh Stan Lee and you '60s writers!) Temple of Cyttorak.

Cain is drawn to a ruby sitting atop a pedestal and, against Charles' warning, grabs a hold of it. This is, to NOBODY'S shock, the ruby of Cyttorak. Cain reads the inscription on the ruby (I know it off by heart because I am a mega geek) and thus becomes the Juggernaut. We do not see this, we just see him surrounded by energy and the temple falling down as Charles escapes.

At this point and just before this point, we are brought back to the present. The approaching menace has torn through every defense the mansion has, and had found a way inside. The X-Men seal off the war room and even the gigantic steel door is broken apart by the intruder. In defense of Charles, the X-Men advance on the enemy only to be swiftly beaten back.

The enemy is revealed to be none other than Cain Marko himself; the Juggernaut. As he faces down Charles for the first time since Korea, he makes clear his intentions to kill him as the issue ends.

---

The problem with issues as old as this is the writing; it's SO dated. The writing style stinks almost as bad as my actual copy of the issue does. Maybe I'm overreacting; it doesn't stink. It's just very campy, very dated and tremendously laughable in some areas. Stan Lee changed the face of comics with the way he created and wrote his characters, but his dialogue is frozen in time.

Time-related flaws aside, this is actually a very exciting and enjoyable read. It does very well to set up one of the more hate-filled feuds in Marvel history, and doesn't take more than one issue to do so. It also does a fantastic job of really hyping Juggernaut.

As far as obtaining this little gem goes, there are a few ways you can do it:

1). If you can pick up the Essential X-Men Vol. 1 paperback, it should be contained therein.

2). Download it (You CAN, but don't. I swear to God).

3). If you're a collector and want the issue, that'll be harder. Mine is fine if you just wanna read it and own it, but if you're looking for re-sell value or good to excellent condition this comic will set you back well over £160. That's far over the $200 mark if you're American.

Regardless of how you read it, definitely get around to reading it at some point. It's truly a timeless classic (Aside from the dialogue).

I may pop up again before Thursday, you never know.

Until then, peace.

-The Mast

*I've decided my opening line will come from one of the many comedies I enjoy.

The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (26/11/2009).

I'm still working on an opening greeting, so bear with me or post me a comment suggesting one.

It's currently 1:04am on Friday the 27th of November. Once again I bought a lot of comics - seven to be precise - and then got side-lined by other matters that needed to be attended to. Still, I'm going to get six of the comics up and reviewed right here and now. As time goes on, I'll be able to fire them out in informative capsules as opposed to the meaty slabs of recent posts. This is because I will no longer need retrospectives as much, and those take up lots of time.

I say I'm going to be reviewing six of the seven because the seventh is rather old and rather special; a retro review for Saturday or Sunday. So, keep those eyelids held up higher than a Playboy bunny's obviously fake breasts.

Onto the reviews!


Hulk #17.

Jeph Loeb's Hulk series does not do anything for me; let me set that precedent right away. What began as the Hulk's new on-going series - after they re-numbered the rest into The Incredible Hercules - has now become Rulk's (Red Hulk) on-going series. Basically, a red hulk appeared out of nowhere and nobody knows who he is or why he exists. He drained the Hulk out of Banner - who, depowered and training his son, now has a rebooted and excellent on-going series written by Greg Pak - and now roams around doing various bad things and musing about how shitty his deal is.

Jeph Loeb is a capable writer, so it makes no sense why this series feels poor to me. The premise of a new Hulk was good, but the execution is bad. Thankfully, I do not read this series. I only bought the last few issues because Deadpool is in them, and being that I collect his appearances, I had to buy these. In this issue, Rulk fights She-Rulk (Yes, a red She-Hulk. Don't even get me started) after she showed up and screwed up his plans, which aren't clear. Deadpool was hired as part of a team to do a job that I've forgotten, and he doesn't do anything besides make banter. He's funny, but Marvel are taking liberties with him. Luckily this was just a guest appearance and I can save my opinion/"Why I Love Deadpool" post until a later date.

The art is cartoony and blocky, the story feels like nothing and this issue - like the rest of the Rulk issues - will go into my chronologically-ordered Deadpool appearances box and never seen again.

Avoid this shit. If you love Hulk, pick up Greg Pak's The Incredible Hulk on-going.


Thor: Giant-Size Finale..

Following on from Thor #603 (See the post before last), King Balder turns up at Bill's fatally wounded body to find him surrounded by the three Asgardians who accosted him by will of Loki. Upon being told that he attacked first, Balder is informed of Doom and Loki's plans by the ailing Bill. Enraged, Balder fights and triumphs over the traitorous Asgardians and witnesses Bill finally pass away, but not before he gives a message of love to be passed on to the goddess Queen Kelda.

This set's the stage for the Asgardians who haven't turned or been turned to band together at Balder's word and prepare a plan with which to disperse these sinister plans. Kelda, hearing of her mortal love's murder and being told of Loki's part in it, heads for Latveria to confront Doom. Meanwhile, the Doombots made for Loki have been sent to the town in which the Asgardian Warriors Three (Volstagg, Hogan and Fandral) and Sif (In human body) have remained. A fight ensues and it ends with Donald Blake being blasted before eventually turning into Thor and slaying the Doombots, warning his warriors of a dark time to come.

We see Donald Blake in hospital where the doctor tells him he is injured, but not beyond recovery. He suggests a cane, which Donald Blake finds amusing (He already has one which, when touched to the ground in a certain way, triggers his transformation).

The last part of the comic shifts to Kelda arriving at Castle Doom where Dr. Doom appears to taunt her. He says Loki has parted ways with him, but he is confused as to why an immortal queen pretends to care for a mortal. She destroys him, only to find that it is a traditional replica; a Doombot. She ventures inside to seek out her enemy only to be ambushed by the real Dr. Doom, who absorbs a tiny piece of her power. He states that he does not yet understand how they are able to live forever, but he shall persevere now that he has a taste of her. He beckons all Asgardians to come to him with their bodies, which he describes sinisterly as puzzle boxes to be unlocked.

Not an amazing issue, but it does what it needed to do and more. J. Michael Straczynski  and Marko Djurdjevic both set the stage for the upcoming Siege storyline with a mixture of gorgeous artwork, epic scenes and dialogue that MORE than adequately conveys a feeling of something big on the horizon for these characters. Marko Djurdjevic has a habit of making Thor look like a bit of a retard, but otherwise he is astounding.

A fitting end to his stellar, if mis-handled, run on the comic. I look forward to Thor #604 next Thursday.


Guardians of the Galaxy #20.

I do not read Guardians on a regular basis, let me start by saying that. I picked this up because it's a Realm of Kings tie-in and, if the three central books we have so far are any indication, I want in on EVERY slice of this bad boy.

This one doesn't go too far to tie itself in, but it's quite an enjoyable read. This is to be expected as the great Dan Abnett is the writer on this series, having already penned War/Realm of Kings and Nova's on-going.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are a bunch of rag-tag cosmic heroes, to sum it up. After the terrigen bomb opened up the fault (See previous post, Realm of Kings #1 review), the Guardians restored order to the universe to some degree. It wasn't without penalty as it cost them a great deal of their roster. Well, so I've been reliably informed by a friend who reads the series.

#20 sees the Guardians trying to seemingly get some order and balance back to their lives and work through the grief, whilst also trying to figure out what kind of threat the fault presents. In quite a paranoid-driven issue that culminates in a scene reminiscent of John Carpenter's The Thing (See it), the reader gets the impression that those who lie in the fault are not only grotesquely horrific, evil and demonic; they are also cunning and deceptively parasitic. I'll keep an eye on this series. Abnett has hooked me again.


Uncanny X-Men #517.

During the events of Utopia - a Dark Reign mini-story - the X-Men were exiled from mainland...anywhere, really.

Cyclops used this opportunity to raise Magneto's former sanctuary - Asteroid M - from the depths; he called it Utopia. So begins the Nation X storyline.

Two issues ago Magneto showed up on the island. One issue ago he protested that he was there for peace and was amazed at what Cyclops had achieved. Meanwhile, Scalphunter - a Marauder/former Marauder - was hired by an unnamed source (Possibly a forgotten-by-me source) to fly a plane-load of Predator X creatures into Utopia, this achieving maximum lunchfest for the beasts. The plane approaches, doesn't answer to radio contact and after Nightcrawler hops onboard to check it out, he swiftly hops off and screams at Cyke to shoot it down.

Thus we enter the second issue of the Nation X storyline(#515 was the prologue, #516 was part one).

The issue begins right where the last left off and throws us right into a plane crash. The Predator Xs, upgraded it seems, escape and the entire issue is basically them trying to protect the island. It's a pretty fun, action-packed teamwork issue. Though it does feel as though very little is done. It ends with Scalphunter having a change of heart, killing the last Predator and being thrown in the X-brig while everyone tries to figure out what just happened, who sent the Predator Xs and also; who upgraded them. Danger (The character, not the concept) approaches Scalphunter on an island and says: "Welcome to the brig. I am Danger. What did you see on Utopia?".

I know this is building toward the actual Nation X five (I think) part series, but I'm not sure how or what for. I'm a little convinced that after Utopia, the X-Men were as they are in the comic; stuck in a limbo. I started buying Uncanny X-Men again from issue #513 because of Utopia, but the very reason I stopped is the same reason I find it hard to get behind this; the X-Men are just boring in their own comic. I hope this turns out not to be the case, but I am convinced it will be.

Also, the Stepford Cuckoos -three identical psychic X-women who talk in sync- passed out during the battle and some entity, explicitly stated as being the Phoenix force, left their bodies. Now, I like the X-Men more nowadays because Jean Grey fucked off. The second they bring her back, I am out of there.

All in all, a decent issue, but only if it's building toward something. Greg Land's art was enjoyable, but maybe I just have a soft spot for how he draws Psylocke (On the cover but not in the issue? Come on...).


Dark Avengers: Ares #2 of 3.

As a three-parter, this is going to be up there with some of my favourites.

The premise is that since Norman Osborn runs H.A.M.M.E.R. now (See Dark Reign retrospective), he has lots of soldiers. What's the best way to train soldiers? Get them a great teacher. Osborn happens to have Ares, the god of war, on his Dark Avengers roster. It gives him an idea; get soldiers trained by the actual god of war, thus becoming the toughest, greatest elite team of military grunts on Earth. It's narrated by one of the grunts, Cameron McGill.

#1 was basically the training issue. At the very end, Hera -Ares' mother- appears and informs Ares that his son is in trouble. Ares automatically assumes that she means Phobos, member of Nick Fury's Secret Warriors (Ares entrusted him into Fury's care despite them being enemies, as his son was so adamant about it). Furious at the fact that Nick Fury let him get hurt despite Ares' warning, he gathers his new group of troops and tells them they have a mission.

We open this issue with them on their way to the base that Hera directed them to. Finding it to be abandoned and filled with decapitated A.I.M. and Hydra bodies, they suspect something. Ares', never doubting his mother's word, presses on with his team. To his horror, he finds his son sure enough...but not Phobos. Kyknos is sitting among a pile of skulls and tells of his scorn for his father. Bitter that he was left to die at the hands of Hercules, Kyknos raises all the skeletal corpses from the dead using their teeth (Very Greek mythology of Gillen there, I dug that).

Fighting as they fall back, the soldiers retreat to the plane and Ares' buys them time, eventually being overwhelmed as the issue ends. Presumably being dragged to Hades.

Even though I am not sure where this fits into continuity, we must assume it does. It wraps up next month and unless something so diabolically bad happens, I'll be nicely satisfied with this slice of fun. Gillen has done a fine job.


The New Avengers #59.

At the end of the last issue of The New Avengers (A team on the run from Norman Osborn's law), the injured and dying Luke Cage -who gave himself up to let his teammates escape when surrounded- was operated on by Osborn's medical staff, with Osborn hinting at something sly.

We begin this issue with the New Avengers remaining members gathered at their safehouse as they try to figure out how to rescue Luke Cage. At that moment, Jessica Jones-Cage shows up with an army of fellow heroes (My boy Daredevil included) who all express friendship and respect for Cage, offering their help. Dr. Strange and Dr. Voodoo both scope out the area where Osborn is keeping him using astral projection and plans are finalised.

In one of the most exciting issues yet, we see The New Avengers attack and dismantle Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. This distracts Osborn enough to lead his Dark Avengers to that location. In this moment of security lapse, The N.A.'s (The New Avengers from now on) allies steal Cage back. Observing from their jet in a cloaked location, The N.A. see Osborn and his team arrive just in time to give Taskmaster (Appointed head of Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. I believe) a throttling. Bullseye chips in with the jokes and is swiftly uppercutted for his troubles by Taskmaster (I loved this, because Taskmaster is an underrated Deadpool enemy-then-tense-friend-now-bad-guy-again).

Back with Luke Cage, the situation is explained and he thanks everyone for their help. The panel zooms in and we see some kind of device attached to his heart, indicting that Osborn may still have the last laugh yet. Whatever this device does, it can't be good.

Bendis is again on form with this issue; his ability to write Dark Reign's two main on-going series' (This and Dark Avengers) with unerring quality and consistency is astounding. Immonen's artwork is nothing short of some of the best you'll see in a modern comic, and this does not hurt.

I await every single issue of this comic, and heading into the Bendis-helmed Siege, I am salivating. Good job, sir. Bring on issue #60!

Well, with stopping, starting and arranging this post...it is now 3:47am. I will be back on Saturday/Sunday with a special retro review that'll be a lot of fun to write.

Thanks again for reading, IF you're reading. See you soon. Go buy comics!

Peace.

-The Mast