The Mast Blogs: Spider-Man Movies & Why Comic Fans Should Be Ignored.

Welcome!

I recently had the misfortune of being caught in quite a dilemma today. You see, I wanted to talk about how the Spider-Man movies went from the first magical, live-action blockbuster re-telling of a Marvel character's story, to a complete and utter crap-a-thon.

To do this, I had to refresh my memories of the movies in question. I should say I had to freshen them up, as my memories of the last one are not fresh by any means.

The first movie was very good except for the fact that Spider-Man wasn't funny and Peter Parker had such a meek voice that it was laughable. He'd always been the perpetual geek, but so am I, and I don't speak like I'm in a fucking library 24/7!

The second was action packed, much more so than the first one, and was generally an excellent flick. The problems from the first one carried over to this one, however, and the entire film was ruined by the pathetic mask-removal scene and the mushy ending that followed.



Combined, they could both be a LOT worse. The third installment could honestly not do much to be any worse; it really couldn't.

Sam Raimi has had people, fans mostly, on his ass about including Venom ever since this franchise was announced. Understandably so, though; he's a big player in the Spider-Man mythos. He didn't include Venom in the first or second movies, not so much as a peek of Eddie Brock either. This would have been fine except for the fact that he committed the cardinal sin; he caved to fan pressure when it made the least sense.

Spider-Man 3 introduces Eddie Brock, Peter Parker's rival and general douchebag (Both in the sense that he's a general douche and if he was in an army of douchebags he would be ranked as General Douchebag). He's not a douchebag in the comics, he's a sly and menacing tank with slightly unhinged tendancies. The douchebaggery comes courtesy of Topher Grace, who essentially just plays Brock as a blonde-haired version of Eric from That '70s Show.

It ends up that Brock becomes Venom in one movie; he's never given a name and the feud between him and Parker is never given time to fully gestate. At least not in a way that would warrant such a vicious grudge on Brock's part. To cap it all off, he gets killed at the end.

What a way to introduce one of the greatest foes in Marvel history, Mr. Raimi. Do I blame him? For caving, yes. For including Venom, no. Who do I blame? Strap yourselves in because this is gonna come right out of leftfield. Here it comes...! OH MY GOD!

THE FANS! I blame the fans. Those over-delusional idiots with such a gross sense of entitlement that it makes me utterly nauseous.

They spent ALL this time bitching that Sam Raimi didn't include Venom, then when he does they want to spend time ripping the dude for it. If you are ANY kind of Spidey fan, you would know that the only logical bitching to be done would have been at the beginning: "Raimi, you idiot! Why haven't you set up a feud between Brock and Parker in the FIRST movie?". By the second movie, when he wasn't included, you should have known that it was way past time to include that character.



Here's how I would have done it.

Introduce Brock in the first movie when Parker starts work at the Bugle. This would allow you to build up a rivalry and somewhat of a competitive edge between the two. The second movie would allow for an expansion on this as a sub-plot. Perhaps even have Peter Parker expose Brock as a fake near the middle of the movie, then let Brock disappear with rage after getting fired.

At the very END of Spider-Man 2, you see Spider-Man listening to the radio. It's revealed that there has been a tragic space shuttle crash landing in the Hudson River and he webswings off to help. Do ya see where I'ma goin' yet, folks?

Spider-Man 3 rolls around and you have set up a perfect scenario! Through Peter's flashback narrative we see him save those on the shuttle as a mysterious organism escapes through the cracked hull or something, having hitch-hiked a ride back. It attaches itself to his suit and that sets up the story.

This would lead into the whole story about how he eventually gets the black suit, it changes him for the worst and he sheds it in the bell tower.

Soon after this, you would see Parker getting threatening letters and phonecalls from an unidentifiable culprit. To cap it off, a bank robbery occurs at the hands of someone the police and news stations are reporting as Spider-Man.

Perturbed, Peter goes to check this out and comes face to face with Venom. They fight and Venom reveals himself as Eddie Brock. He tells the story of how he became Venom through a flashback narrative; he was in the church praying for the death of Parker as the symbiote dripped through the cracks and down onto him.



There, you've successfully got yourself a great villain that causes no need for any additional villains; you've managed to include Venom AND you've done it in a way that has been built up and makes perfect sense.

That is the only way Venom would have worked. Maybe not to my EXACT ideas, but the two movie build-up for sure.

What's the point I'm getting at? Any fan should have known that Venom was a bad idea.

Spider-Man 4 (Oh yes, the cash-spider has more milk webs to spin yet) has a release date of Summer 2011. Rumour has it, and it has been circulating for a while now, that Carnage is to be a villain in the next one. Not just Carnage, but The Lizard and Black Cat will also be a character that's included.

The Lizard makes more sense, especially when you consider that Kurt Connors has been in two, maybe even three of the movies.

Black Cat would work because she's not necessarily a villain. Even though they run the risk of over-crowding, this might work.

Carnage? No. Just no. You fucked up ONE symbiote story, Raimi. Please do not try to include another. You will have to explain how the symbiote replicated despite being on Earth for about a week and then getting destroyed, even though you didn't do a good job of explaining what the FIRST one was.

Carnage is badass and loved by a great many fans. Trust me when I tell you that the real fans would rather dream about how great Carnage could be in a movie, than have you put him in and ruin it.

It's precisely why I hated Surfer in Fantastic Four's sequel; I wanted to see him in a movie, but my desire to see him in a movie was over-rode by my desire for him to be left as is. Why? Because there's always a greater chance of it being shit than good. A Deadpool movie has the potential to be Marvel's best movie, but will it? See my point.

Sam Raimi will never read this, so ultimately I'm just ranting onto the net with my herd (You lot).

If you're reading this and you're a fan, will you do me a favour? Do not push for Carnage. Do not be one of those people. Only fans of the cartoon and noobs think he would work, and we'd all have to suffer for it.

That's my rant out and over with.

Thursday's a while away; in all likelihood I may squeeze an album review in between now and then. Chances are it'll be on The Resistance by Muse. That's one that a lot of folks have asked me about, so keep your eyes peeled.

Also, coming near the end of December is my epic Best of 2009 post. On the agenda for that banquet will be:

• My Top 10 Albums of the Year list.

• Best Comic/Comic Series of the Year award.

• Worst Comic/Comic Series of the Year award.

• Best Comic Writer of the Year award.

• Best Comic Artist of the Year award.

• Various Character awards (Best/Worst/Most Improved/Most Neglected etc).

With all that said, that's all I have for now. Thanks again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Looks Back: Vol. 1 (X-Men #12).

Welcome back and shut up.*

I always knew I'd use this page for retro reviews some day; I just wasn't sure which comic I would be reviewing first. Retro, to me, can be from many decades ago; or five years ago. Anything that's half a decade old or more I consider to be "old" enough.

I was browsing through my monolithic collection of comics and found myself at a loss. Should I do a Deadpool 101? Should I do a Silver Surfer 101? I wasn't sure whether to do a retro review on an actual comic, comic series or a character 101.

The decision I came to hit me while I was in Comicana; a nifty little comics store that specialises in back issues and older comics. Sitting in a sleeve on the wall was the comic I had been eye-ing for a while now. It wasn't in great condition, which bothered me considering I had paid £33 for it. The letters page is the only thing missing, and the pages themselves are readable. All things considered, I considered it a fair enough purchase.

Upon reading it again (My friend owns it; I've never owned it myself) I decided that this would make quite a neat review to do. It's not going to take long, but it involves a fairly central character in Marvel lore and happens to be a very good read.

So, without further ado I present to you;


X-Men #12.

You may be asking yourself: "What is so special about issue #12 of X-Men, Sir Mast?". It's special because not only is this issue - all the way from July, 1965 - the first appearance and origin of the infamous Juggernaut, but it's also the origin of Professor X.

The issue opens with the X-Men running to the war room to find a distraught Professor X trying to turn off Cerebro's alarms. Upon asking what has him so spooked, Professor X tells his X-Men that they are about to face a foe unlike they've ever faced before. This leads into a flashback story, which is essentially what the comic is.

At his father's funeral (He was killed in a bomb blast) we see a young Charles talking to himself, recounting what has happened. His father's collegue survived and soon begins to romantically approach Charles' mother, Sharon. His father's collegue was Dr. Kurt Marko, father of Cain Marko; a pig nosed, red-haired bully.

Cain hates Charles. Bullying him every chance he gets, Cain attempts to make Charles' life a living Hell. As they both attend school, Charles' powers begin to blossom. He is a success in all classes and all sports as a result of being psychic. This leaves Cain even more bitter and hateful toward him.

Soon after the marriage Sharon discovers that Kurt is only interested in her for her fortune. She dies soon after and Charles interrupts Kurt and Cain discussing the inheritance. A fight breaks out in the laboratory and a mass of dangerous chemicals are spilled. Dr. Marko saves the boys, but dies himself; giving Cain all the reason he needs to solidify a life-long hate grudge against Charles.

One day, Cain offers to give Charles a ride to school. Charles accepts, ever naive, and discovers that Cain's kindness was nothing but a ruse. Cain drives the car over a cliff in an attempt to kill Charles, but is not successful.

I should mention that in between these flashbacks, the alarms all around the mansion are going crazy as the menace approaches. Charles sends out the X-Men to set up all kinds of perimiter defenses and booby traps before they return and he continues with the story.

Time passes and both Cain and Charles end up serving in the Korean war. During a rather heavy firefight in which they are both pinned down, Cain runs off and hides in an immense cave. Charles pursues him and discovers that it's the legendary (Despite NOBODY having heard of it before. Oh Stan Lee and you '60s writers!) Temple of Cyttorak.

Cain is drawn to a ruby sitting atop a pedestal and, against Charles' warning, grabs a hold of it. This is, to NOBODY'S shock, the ruby of Cyttorak. Cain reads the inscription on the ruby (I know it off by heart because I am a mega geek) and thus becomes the Juggernaut. We do not see this, we just see him surrounded by energy and the temple falling down as Charles escapes.

At this point and just before this point, we are brought back to the present. The approaching menace has torn through every defense the mansion has, and had found a way inside. The X-Men seal off the war room and even the gigantic steel door is broken apart by the intruder. In defense of Charles, the X-Men advance on the enemy only to be swiftly beaten back.

The enemy is revealed to be none other than Cain Marko himself; the Juggernaut. As he faces down Charles for the first time since Korea, he makes clear his intentions to kill him as the issue ends.

---

The problem with issues as old as this is the writing; it's SO dated. The writing style stinks almost as bad as my actual copy of the issue does. Maybe I'm overreacting; it doesn't stink. It's just very campy, very dated and tremendously laughable in some areas. Stan Lee changed the face of comics with the way he created and wrote his characters, but his dialogue is frozen in time.

Time-related flaws aside, this is actually a very exciting and enjoyable read. It does very well to set up one of the more hate-filled feuds in Marvel history, and doesn't take more than one issue to do so. It also does a fantastic job of really hyping Juggernaut.

As far as obtaining this little gem goes, there are a few ways you can do it:

1). If you can pick up the Essential X-Men Vol. 1 paperback, it should be contained therein.

2). Download it (You CAN, but don't. I swear to God).

3). If you're a collector and want the issue, that'll be harder. Mine is fine if you just wanna read it and own it, but if you're looking for re-sell value or good to excellent condition this comic will set you back well over £160. That's far over the $200 mark if you're American.

Regardless of how you read it, definitely get around to reading it at some point. It's truly a timeless classic (Aside from the dialogue).

I may pop up again before Thursday, you never know.

Until then, peace.

-The Mast

*I've decided my opening line will come from one of the many comedies I enjoy.

The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (26/11/2009).

I'm still working on an opening greeting, so bear with me or post me a comment suggesting one.

It's currently 1:04am on Friday the 27th of November. Once again I bought a lot of comics - seven to be precise - and then got side-lined by other matters that needed to be attended to. Still, I'm going to get six of the comics up and reviewed right here and now. As time goes on, I'll be able to fire them out in informative capsules as opposed to the meaty slabs of recent posts. This is because I will no longer need retrospectives as much, and those take up lots of time.

I say I'm going to be reviewing six of the seven because the seventh is rather old and rather special; a retro review for Saturday or Sunday. So, keep those eyelids held up higher than a Playboy bunny's obviously fake breasts.

Onto the reviews!


Hulk #17.

Jeph Loeb's Hulk series does not do anything for me; let me set that precedent right away. What began as the Hulk's new on-going series - after they re-numbered the rest into The Incredible Hercules - has now become Rulk's (Red Hulk) on-going series. Basically, a red hulk appeared out of nowhere and nobody knows who he is or why he exists. He drained the Hulk out of Banner - who, depowered and training his son, now has a rebooted and excellent on-going series written by Greg Pak - and now roams around doing various bad things and musing about how shitty his deal is.

Jeph Loeb is a capable writer, so it makes no sense why this series feels poor to me. The premise of a new Hulk was good, but the execution is bad. Thankfully, I do not read this series. I only bought the last few issues because Deadpool is in them, and being that I collect his appearances, I had to buy these. In this issue, Rulk fights She-Rulk (Yes, a red She-Hulk. Don't even get me started) after she showed up and screwed up his plans, which aren't clear. Deadpool was hired as part of a team to do a job that I've forgotten, and he doesn't do anything besides make banter. He's funny, but Marvel are taking liberties with him. Luckily this was just a guest appearance and I can save my opinion/"Why I Love Deadpool" post until a later date.

The art is cartoony and blocky, the story feels like nothing and this issue - like the rest of the Rulk issues - will go into my chronologically-ordered Deadpool appearances box and never seen again.

Avoid this shit. If you love Hulk, pick up Greg Pak's The Incredible Hulk on-going.


Thor: Giant-Size Finale..

Following on from Thor #603 (See the post before last), King Balder turns up at Bill's fatally wounded body to find him surrounded by the three Asgardians who accosted him by will of Loki. Upon being told that he attacked first, Balder is informed of Doom and Loki's plans by the ailing Bill. Enraged, Balder fights and triumphs over the traitorous Asgardians and witnesses Bill finally pass away, but not before he gives a message of love to be passed on to the goddess Queen Kelda.

This set's the stage for the Asgardians who haven't turned or been turned to band together at Balder's word and prepare a plan with which to disperse these sinister plans. Kelda, hearing of her mortal love's murder and being told of Loki's part in it, heads for Latveria to confront Doom. Meanwhile, the Doombots made for Loki have been sent to the town in which the Asgardian Warriors Three (Volstagg, Hogan and Fandral) and Sif (In human body) have remained. A fight ensues and it ends with Donald Blake being blasted before eventually turning into Thor and slaying the Doombots, warning his warriors of a dark time to come.

We see Donald Blake in hospital where the doctor tells him he is injured, but not beyond recovery. He suggests a cane, which Donald Blake finds amusing (He already has one which, when touched to the ground in a certain way, triggers his transformation).

The last part of the comic shifts to Kelda arriving at Castle Doom where Dr. Doom appears to taunt her. He says Loki has parted ways with him, but he is confused as to why an immortal queen pretends to care for a mortal. She destroys him, only to find that it is a traditional replica; a Doombot. She ventures inside to seek out her enemy only to be ambushed by the real Dr. Doom, who absorbs a tiny piece of her power. He states that he does not yet understand how they are able to live forever, but he shall persevere now that he has a taste of her. He beckons all Asgardians to come to him with their bodies, which he describes sinisterly as puzzle boxes to be unlocked.

Not an amazing issue, but it does what it needed to do and more. J. Michael Straczynski  and Marko Djurdjevic both set the stage for the upcoming Siege storyline with a mixture of gorgeous artwork, epic scenes and dialogue that MORE than adequately conveys a feeling of something big on the horizon for these characters. Marko Djurdjevic has a habit of making Thor look like a bit of a retard, but otherwise he is astounding.

A fitting end to his stellar, if mis-handled, run on the comic. I look forward to Thor #604 next Thursday.


Guardians of the Galaxy #20.

I do not read Guardians on a regular basis, let me start by saying that. I picked this up because it's a Realm of Kings tie-in and, if the three central books we have so far are any indication, I want in on EVERY slice of this bad boy.

This one doesn't go too far to tie itself in, but it's quite an enjoyable read. This is to be expected as the great Dan Abnett is the writer on this series, having already penned War/Realm of Kings and Nova's on-going.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are a bunch of rag-tag cosmic heroes, to sum it up. After the terrigen bomb opened up the fault (See previous post, Realm of Kings #1 review), the Guardians restored order to the universe to some degree. It wasn't without penalty as it cost them a great deal of their roster. Well, so I've been reliably informed by a friend who reads the series.

#20 sees the Guardians trying to seemingly get some order and balance back to their lives and work through the grief, whilst also trying to figure out what kind of threat the fault presents. In quite a paranoid-driven issue that culminates in a scene reminiscent of John Carpenter's The Thing (See it), the reader gets the impression that those who lie in the fault are not only grotesquely horrific, evil and demonic; they are also cunning and deceptively parasitic. I'll keep an eye on this series. Abnett has hooked me again.


Uncanny X-Men #517.

During the events of Utopia - a Dark Reign mini-story - the X-Men were exiled from mainland...anywhere, really.

Cyclops used this opportunity to raise Magneto's former sanctuary - Asteroid M - from the depths; he called it Utopia. So begins the Nation X storyline.

Two issues ago Magneto showed up on the island. One issue ago he protested that he was there for peace and was amazed at what Cyclops had achieved. Meanwhile, Scalphunter - a Marauder/former Marauder - was hired by an unnamed source (Possibly a forgotten-by-me source) to fly a plane-load of Predator X creatures into Utopia, this achieving maximum lunchfest for the beasts. The plane approaches, doesn't answer to radio contact and after Nightcrawler hops onboard to check it out, he swiftly hops off and screams at Cyke to shoot it down.

Thus we enter the second issue of the Nation X storyline(#515 was the prologue, #516 was part one).

The issue begins right where the last left off and throws us right into a plane crash. The Predator Xs, upgraded it seems, escape and the entire issue is basically them trying to protect the island. It's a pretty fun, action-packed teamwork issue. Though it does feel as though very little is done. It ends with Scalphunter having a change of heart, killing the last Predator and being thrown in the X-brig while everyone tries to figure out what just happened, who sent the Predator Xs and also; who upgraded them. Danger (The character, not the concept) approaches Scalphunter on an island and says: "Welcome to the brig. I am Danger. What did you see on Utopia?".

I know this is building toward the actual Nation X five (I think) part series, but I'm not sure how or what for. I'm a little convinced that after Utopia, the X-Men were as they are in the comic; stuck in a limbo. I started buying Uncanny X-Men again from issue #513 because of Utopia, but the very reason I stopped is the same reason I find it hard to get behind this; the X-Men are just boring in their own comic. I hope this turns out not to be the case, but I am convinced it will be.

Also, the Stepford Cuckoos -three identical psychic X-women who talk in sync- passed out during the battle and some entity, explicitly stated as being the Phoenix force, left their bodies. Now, I like the X-Men more nowadays because Jean Grey fucked off. The second they bring her back, I am out of there.

All in all, a decent issue, but only if it's building toward something. Greg Land's art was enjoyable, but maybe I just have a soft spot for how he draws Psylocke (On the cover but not in the issue? Come on...).


Dark Avengers: Ares #2 of 3.

As a three-parter, this is going to be up there with some of my favourites.

The premise is that since Norman Osborn runs H.A.M.M.E.R. now (See Dark Reign retrospective), he has lots of soldiers. What's the best way to train soldiers? Get them a great teacher. Osborn happens to have Ares, the god of war, on his Dark Avengers roster. It gives him an idea; get soldiers trained by the actual god of war, thus becoming the toughest, greatest elite team of military grunts on Earth. It's narrated by one of the grunts, Cameron McGill.

#1 was basically the training issue. At the very end, Hera -Ares' mother- appears and informs Ares that his son is in trouble. Ares automatically assumes that she means Phobos, member of Nick Fury's Secret Warriors (Ares entrusted him into Fury's care despite them being enemies, as his son was so adamant about it). Furious at the fact that Nick Fury let him get hurt despite Ares' warning, he gathers his new group of troops and tells them they have a mission.

We open this issue with them on their way to the base that Hera directed them to. Finding it to be abandoned and filled with decapitated A.I.M. and Hydra bodies, they suspect something. Ares', never doubting his mother's word, presses on with his team. To his horror, he finds his son sure enough...but not Phobos. Kyknos is sitting among a pile of skulls and tells of his scorn for his father. Bitter that he was left to die at the hands of Hercules, Kyknos raises all the skeletal corpses from the dead using their teeth (Very Greek mythology of Gillen there, I dug that).

Fighting as they fall back, the soldiers retreat to the plane and Ares' buys them time, eventually being overwhelmed as the issue ends. Presumably being dragged to Hades.

Even though I am not sure where this fits into continuity, we must assume it does. It wraps up next month and unless something so diabolically bad happens, I'll be nicely satisfied with this slice of fun. Gillen has done a fine job.


The New Avengers #59.

At the end of the last issue of The New Avengers (A team on the run from Norman Osborn's law), the injured and dying Luke Cage -who gave himself up to let his teammates escape when surrounded- was operated on by Osborn's medical staff, with Osborn hinting at something sly.

We begin this issue with the New Avengers remaining members gathered at their safehouse as they try to figure out how to rescue Luke Cage. At that moment, Jessica Jones-Cage shows up with an army of fellow heroes (My boy Daredevil included) who all express friendship and respect for Cage, offering their help. Dr. Strange and Dr. Voodoo both scope out the area where Osborn is keeping him using astral projection and plans are finalised.

In one of the most exciting issues yet, we see The New Avengers attack and dismantle Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. This distracts Osborn enough to lead his Dark Avengers to that location. In this moment of security lapse, The N.A.'s (The New Avengers from now on) allies steal Cage back. Observing from their jet in a cloaked location, The N.A. see Osborn and his team arrive just in time to give Taskmaster (Appointed head of Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. I believe) a throttling. Bullseye chips in with the jokes and is swiftly uppercutted for his troubles by Taskmaster (I loved this, because Taskmaster is an underrated Deadpool enemy-then-tense-friend-now-bad-guy-again).

Back with Luke Cage, the situation is explained and he thanks everyone for their help. The panel zooms in and we see some kind of device attached to his heart, indicting that Osborn may still have the last laugh yet. Whatever this device does, it can't be good.

Bendis is again on form with this issue; his ability to write Dark Reign's two main on-going series' (This and Dark Avengers) with unerring quality and consistency is astounding. Immonen's artwork is nothing short of some of the best you'll see in a modern comic, and this does not hurt.

I await every single issue of this comic, and heading into the Bendis-helmed Siege, I am salivating. Good job, sir. Bring on issue #60!

Well, with stopping, starting and arranging this post...it is now 3:47am. I will be back on Saturday/Sunday with a special retro review that'll be a lot of fun to write.

Thanks again for reading, IF you're reading. See you soon. Go buy comics!

Peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (19/11/2009, Pt. 2).

I hate starting posts with the initial sentence of whatever I'm speaking about.

It's a weird thing I have, so I'm going to decide on a post-opening saying, or something.

Anyway, this is the second part of what began yesterday; Thursday's Comics (19/11/2009). Three comics to get through today, but they are doozies. I said doozies. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

I'm gonna open with another Dark Reign tie-in, as I want to save the next two for last. No special reason other than they're fucking awesome, and you always save the best 'til last. So without further ado, let's do this.


Dark Reign: The List (The Amazing Spider-Man).

Dark Reign: The List is a series of one-shot comic books focusing on specific characters in the Marvel universe (Abbreviated as the M.U. from now on). As I mentioned before, Norman Osborn has a to-do list of everything he feels is wrong with the M.U. and has resolved to correct these issues by any means necessary. All without faltering in the public eye. Being that his mental state is already stretched further than a creationist's beliefs, this proves for quite the entertaining concept.

So far we've had issues of Dark Reign: The List involving each of the people on his list, to one degree or another. These include: Hulk, Daredevil, The Punisher, Wolverine, Secret Warriors (Primarily Nick Fury), X-Men and The Avengers. They've all been pretty solid, with the exception of Wolverine's one. Last, and perhaps most appropriately, comes Spider-Man's turn.

To his credit, Norman Osborn has succeeded in accomplishing a lot of his goals. He had Frank Castle (The Punisher) killed at the hands of Daken, embroiled Daredevil in another blood-feud with Bullseye and left a Hulk-less Bruce Banner in all sorts of trouble. Only a few things remain undone, and one of those things just happens to be "Kill Spider-Man.". The reason I was looking forward to this one the most is because it represents one of the elements I love about comics; Hero Vs Nemesis.

Here is a man in Norman Osborn who has finally got an iron grasp on just about every area of the American government, nearly unflappable public support and a couple of teams of villains masquerading as heroes under his command (Dark Avengers and Dark X-Men). He has won, for now. Yet, despite it all, he HATES Spider-Man. From his time as the Green Goblin, all these years and up until now, there has existed a burning hatred for Spider-Man. Spider-Man has never been fond of Osborn either. Not necessarily Spidey's deadliest foe, but definitely his most personal. You get the impression from the way that Osborn has interacted with Spidey throughout Dark Reign, that he has NEVER forgotten...anything.

Every little defeat he has suffered, every humiliation and foiled plan he has endured at the hands of Spider-Man; these are never far from his mind. Even in his moment of victory and status of power, you get the feeling that nothing would bring him greater joy than to be standing over the corpse of Spider-Man. As the Iron Patriot and with more resources than ever, he's in a dangerously good position to do it.

I was awaiting this issue because finally, it comes down to these two as I feel it always will. You always come back to what is at the centre of your heart and these two people have heart-born hatred for one another. It resurrects the good old "I hate you, you hate me. Let's finish this." battle adage that isn't around enough in comics nowadays.

From the opening line of this comic - written by Dan Slott - it sets this precedent. Spider-Man, through first-person narrative, is somewhat sarcastically listing the possible reasons that Osborn has risen to power. Eventually he says "Me, I let this happen. Enough is enough.". You get the real sense that he means it this time. I don't know if he'll ever have it in him to put an end to Osborn for good, but he's definitely about that business this time around. It's as if he's finally stood up despite being forever the underdog, amidst all this turmoil and his membership in The New Avengers, and finally said "Osborn, you're my problem. I'm going to fix this.".

It's a very simple one-and-done issue story. Parker visits the left-leaning publication, Frontline - ran by Ben Urich, former co-worker of Parker's at the Daily Bugle, and friend of Matt Murdock/Daredevil) - and tries to organise one final push to expose Osborn for who he truly is. Norah - a journalist who previously went undercover in Osborn's ranks - discovered all kinds of info on how Osborn had been doing experiments on people like some kind of Josef Mengele gone crazy. Most notably, his own son, Harry Osborn had fallen victim to Osborn's experimentations. Norah suggests that if they could somehow steal the information Osborn has on record regarding this, it'll be enough to blow his public image to pieces.

Things pick up when, at Avengers Tower (Formerly Stark Tower, now Osborn's H.Q.), Osborn is telling Victoria Hand how he plans to kill Spider-Man once and for all and cap off the most important thing on the list (Though going as far as to say that his plans extend far beyond what he's done already). As they enter a large computer room, Osborn finds Spider-Man with a flash drive in his hand and the notice of "100% Complete: Download Finished." on the screen.

What ensues is a beautiful, but short, mix of nostalgia and classic comic action. Osborn flying through the night sky of New York City, pursuing Spider-Man and eventually locking horns with him for a while. Spider-Man eventually one-ups him and damages his chest piece after noticing a flaw in the design. As Spider-Man makes his escape into a civilian crowd as Parker, Osborn pursues and eventually finds him in an internet cafe (Bear in mind, he isn't aware of who Parker is). He approaches Parker, unaware that he has uploaded the data until Parker starts opening verbal fire on him in front of everyone, under the illusion that Spider-Man had given him the flash drive.

It's a very poignent and potent piece of dialogue from Peter Parker; it embodies everything he was intended to be, and everything he's shaping up to be in the future. After reading Osborn the riot act and explaining how, as one of the American people he allegedly swears to protect, he can say or do whatever he wishes. He lays it all down and goes so far as to tell Osborn that HE should answer to the PEOPLE, for HE is there to serve them. When Osborn threatens to "erase" the troublesome Parker, Parker has the perfect ripost.

Parker says, more or less, "You see me as a problem to erase because I'm exercising my rights as an American. What next? You gonna make all these people in here disappear too? How far are you willing to go?". You can almost see Osborn's rage beneath the helmet as Parker uses his own web of lies and deception against him, and conversely, you can feel Parker smirking deep down inside as if to say "I've got you now, you son of a bitch.".

The story ends with Osborn flying off, frantically contacting his headquarters and telling them to immediately pull any of the evidence off the internet the second it appears, whilst Peter Parker's inner monologue triumphantly exclaims how he feels good about having been the first chip in Osborn's armour. The first step to his final downfall.

All in all, it does what it set out to do. Dan Slott manages to successfully portray a story that could have come off as trite and cliche in a manner that feels weighty, but not sluggish. Poignent, but not sappy. It conveys greatly the extent to which Spidey has suffered at the hands of the public favour and how, despite this nightmare scenario of his greatest enemy being in power, he has never given up on that which he swore to do the minute he put on his costume for the first time; protect and stand up for the people.

It's a very nice finish to a really slick series of one-shots and does that extra part to making me excited for Siege.


Realm of Kings #1.

I swear, one day soon I'll get to review something I don't have to give people a retrospective on! Let me keep this one brief; the evil brother of Cyclops and Havok - Vulcan - took over the Shi'ar empire (A race of people in space) and waged a brutal attack on the Kree empire (Another race of people from space). The Kree empire, then ruled by the Inhumans' (Pre-history humans intended to be made into living weapons at the hands of Kree experimentation and then discarded) and their king, Black Bolt, fought back.

It resulted in massive casualties and included Gladiator, one of my main boys, turning his cape on the Shi'ar throne as long as Vulcan ruled on it. Black Bolt and Vulcan fought to the death, which resulted in Black Bolt detonating a terrigen bomb which decimated the Shi'ar and won the war for the Kree. That was War of Kings, and this is Realm of Kings.

I LOVE Dan Abnett right now. Not only has he been doing stellar work on Nova, but he wrote War of Kings and this is shaping up to be amazing too. Here's the premise; the terrigen bomb was so destructive that it has caused a rip in time and space, dubbed "The Fault". To the best I can tell, the fault has caused various galaxies and realities to crash against each other, making things understandably problematic for...everyone and everything that lives, anywhere.

Quasar decides, after somewhat of a cosmic meeting, to fly into the fault and check it out considering he is the only one capable of braving the conditions that may reside there. As he is flying through, he describes how the realities of the multiverses are grinding against each other, merging and smashing with tremendous energy. Just as he muses on the fact that this rip may not have an end, he feels himself being pulled into one of the unsettled realities.

He arrives on a world so nightmarish in design that I actually felt a shiver when I saw some of the artwork. After fighting what appears to be one gigantic tentacled hellbeast, a demonic version of The Avengers seem to show up and defeat it. Quasar is confused, but accepts the help. This beast is revealed to be the Hulk of that world. The Avengers rip his heart out and, if he wasn't sure before, he is confirmed in his suspicion that all's not right. It's revealed that this is another reality and universe's Earth, transformed by dark forces and demonic possessives.

After being captured and interrogated, Quasar is introduced to the horrifying truth; the fault is not a rip, it's a tunnel. He wasn't interrupted and sucked into a reality, he reached the end of the fault and this is what lies there. These demonic Avengers serve masters/spirits that have essentially drained their world and they wish to come through the fault and bring these bad, bad things with them. Quasar escapes with the somewhat inexplicable help of Vision and returns to regularly scheduled reality, to the relief of his team.

He utters the words; "They're coming.", and we see his eyes glow red, implying that he is changed for the worst by his experiences.

All in all, this is a chilling, dark piece of cosmically politicised, mystical fantasy. Dan Abnett seems to know how to make a series impactful and important, and exactly what to do to blow it up on another level. Marvel's cosmic characters, though important, have never really been at the forefront of the biggest stories (Save for the likes of Surfer and Galactus etc). They probably never will, but it's very nice to see them getting some deservedly great play from a very good writer and some astounding artists. There doesn't appear to be a central series as with War of Kings, but the Inhumans and Imperial Guard five-parters as well as the Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy tie-ins should be just enough to nail this story tight.

It's a long arc, with issue #5 of both Realm of Kings: Inhumans and Realm of Kings: Imperial Guard due in March. I can't wait for the rest.


Realm of Kings: Inhumans #1 of 5.

Tying into Realm of Kings and the aftermath of War of Kings, this mini-series is to the Inhumans/Kree what Realm of Kings: Imperial Guard is to...well, the Imperial Guard.

It tells the tale, so far at least, of Queen Medusa and how she has taken on the role of royalty after Black Bolt's sacrifice. As this left her widowed, she's understandably tense about taking the mantle of royalty. She remains negative about Black Bolt's sacrifice and has grown to hate the way things have happened and the Inhumans' involvement in it.

Directly mirroring Gladiator's struggle with throne-dwelling life, it's not easy to see how this will tie into the events of the above reviewed Realm of Kings one-shot, but I trust Abnett that it'll work well.

I'm really liking the political and morally ambiguous undertones surrounding this series. It seems to be more personal, about how the PEOPLE can be affected.

The issue basically tells the tale of how the under-society of the Kree are growing distasteful of the Inhumans. Feeling that, despite best intentions, they do not hold respect for the tradition of the Kree empire (Nor should they, in my opinion). This comes to fruition when Ronan and Crystal (Sister of Medusa) are ambushed by Kree underground dwellers. It ends with The Mighty Avengers (Hank Pym, Hercules etc), I believe, appearing in the aftermath of a fight between Inhuman enforcer Gorgon, and one of Blastaar's minions, who seeked to cause a ruckus and ruin the appointment of that planet's new consulate (Because the Kree are obviously looking to rebuild after the war. Putting selected officials on each world within their empire).

I'm not really sure how this fits with continuity, as I'm certain Hercules is off doing the New Olympus thing with Spidey, but we'll see. Maybe New Olympus isn't in continuity or canon.

I've not got much to say in terms of this issue besides that it's good, and different enough from the Imperial Guard one to be worth collecting also. As time goes on, keep your eyes to this page for my coverage of Realm of Kings and all its atttachments.

For now, though, that's all I've got for you.

I may fit in an album review, comic book review (In general) or a comic/music musing between now and next Thursday, but until then; take care.

Peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: A Dark Reign Retrospective and Thursday's Comics (19/11/2009, Pt. 1).

I have a LOT to get through in this post, so here's how it will occur. Ready? GO!

Every Thursday (Possibly Friday, depending on if I can get through them all) I will be reading and reviewing all the comics I purchase. Thursday is new comics day here, as opposed to Wednesday in the States, so apologies if your times are mixed up. Also, the date is in English format; that's Date/Month/Year, just so you don't get confused.

A lot of what I say may not necessarily make sense, since the blog is new and the stories are not. We're jumping into them, but I'll brief you on the over-arching story in Marvel right now, Dark Reign, and then any reviews pertaining to it can sort of make sense. It may not ALL be in absolute chronological order, but this is all from memory, and a LOT has happened.

What Is Dark Reign?

Dark Reign is the latest umbrella story arc (Covers everything) in the Marvel Universe. Here's what it's about in a nutshell, and what caused it.

A while ago there was Civil War, A team of superhero reality stars, the New Mutants, raided the H.Q. of a villainous group. The group turned out to be more than they could handle and Nitro, one of the villains, spontaneously combusted an entire neighbourhood. The casualty list was 612, including some of the New Mutants. The government passed the S.R.A. (Superhuman Registration Act) in light of this. It was a bill that required all people with powers or alter egos to register with S.H.I.E.L.D. (Run by the excellent and bullish character, Maria Hill, in Nick Fury's disgraced absense) as official law enforcement. The alternative was, essentially, incarceration in the Negative Zone, a part of sub-space. This ended with Captain America (The leader of the anti-registration groups) surrendering after a huge final battle in which both sides realised they put at risk the very civilians they were trying to protect.

Captain America was assassinated some time after and Tony Stark, now acting director of S.H.I.E.L.D. was forced to deal with an invasion of Skrulls. Skrulls being a shape-shifting race that can imitate people. They had been infiltrating Earth for ages after stealing genetic info from other heroes of Earth MANY years go. Slowly but surely they'd been unknowingly taking the place of other heroes. Eventually this all spilled out in a rather excellent tale of paranoia and conflict called Secret Invasion. During this time, Deadpool was sent, by Nick Fury, to recover info on how to kill a Skrull Queen. This info was stolen mid-transmission by Norman Osborn, formerly the Green Goblin and then-leader of the reformed supervillain group known as the Thunderbolts. He used this info to kill the Skrull Queen and make himself a hero.



This is where Dark Reign begins. Norman Osborn was essentially treated like, and became, a hero of the people. Naturally he was still the same old Osborn, but his plan was to achieve power unlike he'd possessed before. With this new found status, he began to put his plan into motion. Tony Stark stepped down as S.H.I.E.L.D. director (Maybe he was fired, can't quite recall) for allegedly being slack enough that the invasion happened, and Norman Osborn reformed S.H.I.E.L.D. into H.A.M.M.E.R., giving its employees the chance to switch sides or become fugitives.

First Osborn formed The Cabal (Since disbanded for multiple reasons), an evil counterpart to the Illuminati (Also disbanded). This included Emma Frost, Dr. Doom, Loki, himself and the Hood. He formed his own team of Avengers (Known to readers as the Dark Avengers, and in their series) and even 
used Tony Stark's armours to become the Iron Patriot. Each member of his team is a villain masquerading as a hero they can mimic. Bullseye became the new Hawkeye, Venom (Mac Gargan) became the new Spider-Man, Daken (Wolverine's son) took his father's place, while Moonstone and Marvel Boy took the places of Ms. Marvel and Captain Marvel. Sentry and Ares, both hero and neutral respectively, joined out of a mixture of manipulation and naivety. Marvel Boy has since left, after realising the team was not what it seemed, and Norman Osborn has been carrying out items on his list. On "The List" are a number of things he feels need to change. For example; kill Spider-Man, kill the Punisher and a number of other intriguing tasks.

So that's basically it. They've had interactions here and there. The X-Men were dragged into it and forced to exile themselves to an island in the ocean, known as Utopia. The New Avengers (What would amount to the main Avengers team on the forces of good's side) have been struggling to break Norman's facade and make the public see that THEY are the real heroes. Likewise with the Mighty Avengers. I won't describe what's been happening in ALL the issues, but that's Dark Reign. We're heading into the final part of Dark Reign soon, called Siege, which will continue for the first half of 2010. It consists of Norman Osborn finally losing grip on his sanity (After struggling to keep his Goblin persona under wraps) and biting off more than he can chew.

There, Dark Reign. Everything's shit for our heroes everywhere, and the bad guys have the power, but the tide is turning. So begins Siege in January.

For those who wish to get the proper backstory on all this (Either you'll already know or probably won't care) without reading the comics, you can go to the following link and just search for the appropriate titles:

The Marvel Comics Database.

Pretty much everything that's ever happened in Marvel has been recorded there. If you need help narrowing the search, just ask me.

---

RIGHT, whew.

What did I buy today? Here's what I bought today:


Dark Avengers #11.

Brian Michael Bendis continues an enthralling run on what is essentially the main series in Dark Reign (Considering that unlike other story arcs, Dark Reign has no central issues). Norman Osborn has sent Sentry to investigate disappearances in Dinosaur, Colorado and are horrified when Sentry disappears into thin air. The team goes to investigate and out of nowhere, Norman Osborn is confronted with the damned souls of the demon Zarathos, the Beyonder, Mephisto, Enchantress and Molecule Man heading them all up.

In this issue, it's revealed that Molecule Man has been hiding out in an illusory town. By my estimation he has been making people disappear so that nobody discovers him. I'm not entirely sure if the aforementioned company he's keeping are products of his powers and imagination, but whatever. He claims he wants to be left alone, and for various reasons will not kill Norman Osborn. He psychologically tortures and divides all the other Dark Avengers, appearing to kill Sentry (Which I doubt is the case) and severely incapacitate the others. He won't kill them because, according to him, the government would then send Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four to figure out a way to re-incarcerate him (Reed being arguably the smartest Earth man to ever live, with one other contender).

It ends with Victoria Hand, Osborn's assistant, surrendering to Molecule Man in hopes of getting the Dark Avengers back.

This is obviously starting the downfall of Osborn; Molecule Man was REALLY getting at him regarding the inevitable snapping of his resolve. A very nice build up issue that really showed the instability of Norman Osborn and also shows that like him or not, Bendis is doing a respectable job coupled up with Mike Deodato's robust artwork. I love this series, in fact, it might just be my favourite current series going aside from New Avengers.


Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #5.

Not Deadpool's main series, but his first ever SECOND on-going series. This isn't part of Deadpool's current story in the main series, it's just an additional side comic series featuring the character. When I first heard of this, I really feared they were starting to view Deadpool as their cash cow, and they are (That's for next week, see end of post). However, as the main series began to SEVERELY decline after the first 12 issues, this series is going from strength to strength. I wasn't sure until about three issues in, but this is SUCH a fun, enjoyable and exciting read. Deadpool himself, again, loses a lot of the lethality his character deserves, but the action he's involved in is so much fun that it almost compensates.

Deadpool was sent by A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics) to retrieve a bioweapon from the Savage Land. This weapon turns out to be Zombie Deadpool's head, from the Marvel Zombies mini-series' alternate universe. Unfortunately for Deadpool, Hydra are also after the head and so the story continues. Scientist Betty Swanson is caught in the crossfire as A.I.M.'s on-site researcher and is dragged along for the ride, which involves dinosaurs, cavemen, zombie dinosaurs and so forth. She's your typical action movie chick; busty, blonde, repulsed by the supposed main character who happens to have a huge hard-on for her etc.

It plays like the most glorious, gratuitious action flick and I really cannot get enough of it. MAJOR props to Victor Gischler. The art is pretty damn amazing too. Bong Dazo (I believe) is doing this story justice.

In this issue, Deadpool, Headpool and Dr. Swanson all escape. They give Headpool to A.I.M. before Deadpool has an attack of realisation; they want to use it as a weapon to zombify the world. He proceeds to steal the head back, escape on a ship with Swanson in reluctant-tow, and destroy the opposing Hydra ship in what is a very hilarious and exciting space fight. The issue ends with them setting course for Florida to take Headpool home.

Amazingly fun series. Not perfect Deadpool, but very good and the best Deadpool series of the three that are out.

Additionally, I love the fact that from issue two onward the covers have been parodies of movies. Jaws (#2), Dawn of the Dead (#3), Scarface (#4) and Pretty Woman (#5). Next month's one is Alien, and after that I believe it's The Usual Suspects! Very fun.


Thor #603,

 This comic has been out for a while, but I picked it up today.

After coming back from the dead only to end up being cast out of Asgard by being tricked into killing one of his own (By Loki, see Thor #600/#601), Thor has been a rather displaced soul. The basis of this current arc is him searching for his scattered Asgardian bretheren sleeping within their Earthbound forms.

Loki has moved all Asgardians to Latveria and the company of Dr. Doom. Why? In one of Marvel's more sinister plots; Loki wants Thor dead. Not disgraced, dead. In this issue we see that the pact between the two come to light. In return for an upgraded army of Doombots, designed to kill Donald Blake (Thor's Earth form), Dr. Doom will be allowed to kill or experiment on as many of the Asgardians as he desires. The endgame, Doom's endgame at least, is to achieve immortality from these Asgardians. The chilling end to this issue, and J. Michael Straczynski's EPIC regular run, sees Dr. Doom vivisect the Asgardian Endrik. Upon seeing him live for a full five minutes after his heart is removed, he salivates at the idea of what could be achieved by doing this to someone of Thor's power; not just a regular Asgardian. It's one of the most potent moments of dread that I've felt for Marvel's heroes in a while. Straczynski did this so well.

This convo is overheard by Bill, a member of the townsfolk in which Thor and many of his Earthbound Asgardian bretheren had been residing. Since their time on Earth, Kelda -an Asgardian- has since fallen for Bill due to his humanity and ability to make even an immortal feel the appreciation of time. He runs to Castle Doom to see what's going on and, after hearing the aforementioned conversation between Loki and Doom regarding their plans, is blasted out of the castle and to the floor after being spotted.

A fight breaks out and eventually Bill is stabbed by Loki's followers. Balder, Kelda's king and current ruler of Asgard/all Asgardians, arrives just in time to see this and needless to say, is appalled to see this happen to a friend he has come to respect.

I thoroughly enjoyed this issue and it really does give me the feeling of the darkness before the...well, even darker. A foreboding and thick air of impending doom (No pun intended) currently surrounds this story and I'm loving it. The dialogue between Loki and Dr. Doom is just utterly brilliant, and the art by Marko Djurdjevic is nothing short of mindblowingly immaculate.

I cannot wait for Thor #604 in December. It's a notoriously late title with regards to releases, so I hope that Kieron Gillen is capable of taking up the mantle of what is one of the best on-going comics right now, especially considering that Siege is HEAVILY involving Thor and Asgard...but more on that as it unfolds.

For now, that's all I've got for you guys.

I did buy three additional comics today. I also got Realm of Kings #1 of 1, Realm of Kings: Inhumans #1 of 5 and Dark Reign: The List (The Amazing Spider-Man). Normally I'd have reviewed those today too, but given that I had to do partial Civil War/Secret Invasion and sizeable Dark Reign recaps, I am tired. So, tomorrow I shall review the second lot of Thursday's comics. In future, it'll all be on the one day, but give me a break!

Until then, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: Marvel Movies and Thor Movie Cast Additions.

Let's run down the list of Marvel movie adaptations from 1998 onward:

Spider-Man Trilogy.
X-Men Trilogy.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Iron Man.
Iron Man 2.
Ghost Rider.
Blade Trilogy.
Man-Thing.
The Punisher/The Punisher: Warzone.
Fantastic Four.
Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer.
Daredevil.
Elektra.
Hulk/The Incredible Hulk.

Of those 22 movies, how many have been worth the time?

Blade: Kickstarted the comic book movie resurrection. It's an excellent piece and a reversal of the comic/movie trend. Blade of the comics was actually edited according to how perfectly Snipes portrayed him. Of course, it doesn't hurt that it opened with THAT rave scene.

Hulk: An amazing piece of filmmaking that captured the psychological element of Hulk's character perfectly. Ang Lee also forgot to include fighting and action in his three hour movie. The Incredible Hulk is the opposite. It touches on Hulk's loneliness but includes far more action. The balance wasn't perfect but I feel it was better as a film. Very good, I enjoyed it.

Elektra: A piece of shit.

Daredevil: Blighted by theatrical cuts. The director's cut is better and worth a watch if you like the theatrical release, but still, it's a sub-par movie and a missed opportunity.

Ghost Rider: I don't particularly know what happened here. Ghost Rider LOOKED the part, the C.G.I. was amazing and he was a great visual treat. Aside from that, the movie was inexcusably bad.

Fantastic Four/Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer: This is the best example of a man having no respect for the source material and trying to adapt a franchise to appeal to Saturday night movie goers, none of which give a shit about comics, nor will they after this movie. I hate that excuse; "We're updating it to draw new fans in, while pleasing old ones.". Clearly you're not, Tim Story, because if you cared you wouldn't have made Dr. Doom an American businessman who shoots lightning out of his hands. You would have cast people suitable for the roles and picked a better storyline to go with. As for Surfer...well. One of my favourite comic characters ever and he was treated as I expected. To be fair, his role was so minimal that it wasn't really ruined. Except for that shit about him losing his powers if he comes off his board. Although, Galactus' role was also minimal and that was horseshit.

X-Men Trilogy: The first one, credited for bringing credibility back to live-action comic movies (No, Blade did that), was shit. Poor acting, poor story, poor casting. Why did Sabretooth look like a hobo? Second one was fun, but ultimately suffered from sequel syndrome (Too many characters and regarded as the film where they can just do all action because story was handled in the first movie). The third one was the same, but worse and without the fun. Whoever cast Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut holds the trophy for worst casting in a Marvel movie. "He couldn't have been in it otherwise! C.G.I. would have looked dumb!", then don't have him. Either have him properly or don't have him at all.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: The best and only good thing about this movie was the minute or so of Ryan Reynolds. Despite taking liberties with Wade Wilson's origins, he has the character down. He reads the comics, has done for years, so I knew he would. I really hope the Deadpool movie (A reboot and totally disconnected from the abominable excuse for Deadpool in the Wolverine flick) is good. They seem to have the right ingredients, so we shall see.

Spider-Man Trilogy: Aside from Blade, THIS movie started it all. Some misguided casting and sluggish pacing aside, I loved how they told this story and it was the first time I truly felt the Marvel magic on the big screen. J.K. Simmons as J.J. Jameson was genius. I'd have gone for Justin Theroux as Norman Osborn, but Dafoe did a good job. The second one was shaping up to be that unspeakable rarity; a second installment better than the first. Then they removed his mask and made it the love story that it didn't NEED to become. The third, as seems customary with Marvel, was total shit and proved that fans should never be in charge. "WE WANT VENOM! OH MY GOD, WHERE'S VENOM!?", "Here! HERE'S VENOM! NOW ARE YOU HAPPY?!", "OH MY GOD, HE SUCKS! FUCK YOU, SAM RAIMI!". Horrible movie. Not to mention that I would probably find watching porn with my parents less embarassing than the scene with Peter dancing in the jazz bar.

Man-Thing and The Punisher I'm indifferent to. I haven't actually seen The Punisher: Warzone, yet.

Iron Man: What to say that hasn't been said, amazing. A slightly disappointing third act, but an EXCELLENT movie. Excellent casting, breathtaking effects and solid story. The performances were excellent from all involved, and even Paltrow as Pepper Potts didn't give off the typical damsel vibe. I love how they captured that. Pepper likes Tony, but Tony's just out for fun, and that's the way it goes. Hopefully sequel syndrome doesn't strike with Iron Man 2, because the Comic Con preview made me do a sex pee. I'm concerned about Scarlett Johansson sounding like a tool when doing a Russian accent as Black Widow, but I love how they cast Justin Hammer as a young guy (Sam Rockwell is a brilliant choice). I love the element of competition that introduces between Hammer and Stark. Mickey Rourke looks sick as Whiplash, but the decision to mix him with Crimson Dynamo is odd to me. So needless, but it could be irrelevant if it's done well. War Machine? Mmm, MMM!

This brings me to what was GOING to be the main point; Thor's movie. All things considered, this could be the best movie on paper. It has theatrical elements, grand elements, mystical elements and it damn sure has elements of action. Thor is an epic character, but I always enjoyed the idea of Thor more than most of his actual comics. I'm a bit puzzled as to why they cast Chris Hemsworth as Thor, considering this is a BIG role that needs to be perfect, and he's done next to nothing. However, this is Marvel Studios handling this. I doubt they'd have cast him if he wasn't good. Most recently, Anthony Hopkins has been cast as Odin, Tadanobu Asano has been cast as Hogan (Weird, but I can see it) and Natalie Portman has been cast as Jane Foster. I'd have gone with Brian Blessed as Odin, but I certainly have faith in Hopkins. Tom Hiddleston has a VERY devious look about him, and is perfect as Loki, visually.



This could either be the best Marvel movie ever, possibly the best comic book movie ever, or it could be among the very worst. I don't think they'll blow away the reality that Marvel Studios has attempted to create by linking all these movies together, though.

Ultimately, the endgame is to have the movie adaptation of the Avengers. The Avengers already has a cast; Downey Jr. is returning as Iron Man, Don Cheadle and Scarlett Johansson as War Machine and Black Widow respectively and the aforementioned Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston will be playing Thor and Loki. This is VERY good. Marvel NEED continuity of actors if this is to work. Additionally, now that we've had Downey Jr. do a cameo in The Incredible Hulk and Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) do a cameo in Iron Man (As well as a role in Iron Man 2), Edward Norton has stated that he'd love to be in The Avengers as Bruce Banner with Hulk as the villain.



If of that all works out, it would be utterly crucial for the success of this movie.

Marvel need to step their game up though. Captain America also has a movie coming out, erroneously titled The First Avenger: Captain America (He was NOT the first Avenger), allegedly in the same year as Thor (2011, with The Avengers slated for 2012), and they don't even have anyone cast as Steve Rogers/Captain America.

When you look at the proposed cast of The Avengers and when you consider that Jon Favreau (Iron Man director) is executive producer, there's not much that can seemingly go wrong. The chance that this could be a monumental and unprecedented success is shadowed, sadly, by the concept that it could be a cataclysmic failure.

I hold my breath with anticipation. I've followed comics since I was a young boy, single digits. Some have been into it decades longer than I have, too. I just hope these people care enough about us to aim for us when making this. Give us something to be proud of, Marvel. When all these mainstream folks go to see these movies and suddenly decide comics are cool now, give us reason to stand up and know that we had known it all along.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: The Great Misdirect by Between the Buried & Me.

I was admittedly torn about which of my two passions to kickstart my blog with.

On one hand I could retroactively review a comic series, since series' reviews are the best way to retroactively review comics (Aside from noteworthy single issues), as opposed to currently reviewing single new releases. On the other, I could review an album.

I decided that considering my annual Album of the Year list will be posted here from now on, I'd review one of the releases in contention for such an award.

With that said, let's get started.


The Great Misdirect by Between the Buried & Me.

Before I get onto the album itself, let me give you a bit of background on my opinions regarding this kind of music.

All the best metal bands have began heavy and worked slowly toward a progressively more varied approach to their output. There are exceptions such as Slayer and their ilk (Who I do like), but these bands tend to fall under the curse of being hit and miss. When the albums you release are essentially the same because you only know one style, regardless of whether the style is good, you will end up with a very stale yet patchy body of work.

Opeth, Emperor, Mastodon, Converge, The Dillinger Escape Plan; all of these bands have expanded from their heavier roots to encompass a much more eclectic style. The reason? Any "metal" band with stand-out talent will eventually grow tired of making metal and metal alone. The bands making the heaviest metal often lack the most ability.

Enter Between the Buried & Me.

Like the aforementioned bands who have expanded with time, Between the Buried & Me (Gotta get a shortened name for these guys) have followed suit. From their self-titled album to The Silent Circus follow-up, they had clear technical gifts, but seems stuck in a rut of feeling like they had to conform to an archetype. Their third album, Alaska, exhibited a sneaking desire to be more than they were. It was a breath of fresh air to many who listen to this kind of music on a regular basis, and those who didn't also found themselves surprised by the slight adjustments they made. It was, for all intents and purposes, the album that had them earmarked as a band to watch.

Despite enjoying Alaska, I went the opposite way. Rather than praising it wildly for showing signs of bursting potential, I felt disappointed that they were holding themselves back for whatever reason. It wasn't until they finally broke the shackles and released Colors, an hour-plus marathon of one continuous piece broken up into eight songs, that they became a band I was personally keeping a watchful eye on. Colors was an example of everything a young band looking to break out of a stale genre should be; ambitious, varied, serene and serrated all in one. However, whilst the band had reached an epiphany, the album still felt slightly flawed and failed to reflect this new found confidence. Tremendous as it was (It made my top 10 list that year), it felt incomplete.

With that history out of the way (Normally I'd jump to the review, but this may not make sense without background), let's get onto their current offering; The Great Misdirect.

On this album, Between the Buried & Me have set a new benchmark not only for themselves, but for heavy music in general.

Beginning with the very spacey, ethereal tones of Mirrors, Between the Buried & Me immediately set the precedent for this album; it's a journey. Tommy Rogers, who remains one of heavy music's best and most varied vocalists (Only Mikael Akerfeldt of Opeth and Ihsahn of Emperor are better) displays exactly why these guys are not just another alarm clock metal band. His voice cascades over a melancholic guitar line in a very Thom Yorke-esque manner, circa Kid A, surprising even myself. The song picks up pace with its remarkably dreamy, echoey guitar passages that contain tinges of Dave Gilmour's time in Pink Floyd, and modern day Porcupine Tree. It's evident even in these comparisons which kind of company this band wish to keep.

Out of the haunting reverb of this minimal yet impactful opener, comes Obfuscation. The opening riff spirals dizzyingly out of control in a way that has become customary for this band, whilst Tommy Rogers enters the fray with his powerful metal vocal that manages to separate itself from the rest. It's a massively impressive shift, if a little samey, but that soon vanishes when the song rises and falls between beauty and brutality. Paul Waggoner and Dustie Warring play off each other's riffs as if competing, yet it never gets in the way of the totality of creativity that this band has. Most impressive is the way Blake Richardson perfectly, I stress perfectly, encases every single shift in time signature, key or tempo with pinpoint accurate drumming. Whether it's staccato riff battery or intricate guitar lyricism, he's there matching up. Again, there is heavy influence from other progressive bands. I hear a lot of similar guitar solo tones to Porcupine Tree, specifically The Sky Moves Sideways album.

None of these musicians are content with being just a piece, they want to stand out. The bass, supplied by Dan Briggs, perfectly compliments Blake's drumming and it wouldn't surprise me to see these two stake a claim as one of THE world's premier rhythm sections.

Most songs on this album have more sides to their personality than a schizophrenic ventriloquist, and even if they're just shifting between heavy and delicate, they do so with such effortless grace and attention grabbing finesse that there's never a dull moment.

If that wasn't enough, you have songs like Fossil Genera: A Feed from Cloud Mountain. This song opens and progresses with a jazz/polka fusion that, despite being clearly ripped from the mind of Mike Patton or latter-day Devin Townsend, delights and surprises in equal measure. The speed of the jaunty piano line juxtaposed with the crushingly slow guitar riff is daring to the point of comedy, even more hilarious is that they pull it off.

The closer, Swim to the Moon, is the final culmination of this band reaching what I call "The Elite". Opening with a chilly, bassy rhythm consisting only of minimal tribal style drumming and woodwind instruments, the song cascades into a repeated riff so amazing that it might just rank up as one of my favourite musical moments ever. Never ceasing for a second, I found myself floored by the onslaught of high-tempo, stabbing, classical style riffs. Overjoyed at the pulse-pounding drum fills and time shifts (Blake Richardson's finest moment comes on this song) it finally became apparant to me that this was a band not content with being just like the rest anymore.

I'm a big fan of set-pieces, so for me to say there are more memorable riffs and passages of genius in this one song than in any non-elite (My opinion) band's discography is a big deal. It's truly ridiculous, the competence with which they shift between riffs that could put you in a coma or make you dizzy enough to want a sit down, and passages so addictive that you could dance to them. Not just on this song, but the whole album.

On an album like this, all I can do is describe what I remember of the tracks and hope it's something you check out for yourself. This really is something that, far from being intended to be listened to in one piece, DESERVES to be listened to in its entirity.

If you are looking to branch out your tastes or even if this is to your liking and you haven't got it yet; do NOT sleep on this album. It is quite simply the sound of one of the new best bands in the world making one of the best heavy albums, or albums in general, of recent years.

Tool had Lateralus, Prince had Sign o' the Times, Opeth had Damnation, Radiohead had Kid A.

All the bands and artists in "The Elite" (Some not shown) have had an album or two that absolutely breaks every mold, whilst simultaneously creating its own. The Great Misdirect by Between the Buried & Me is one of these.

Like the Juggernaut, they seem to be showing total disregard for any and all obstacles in their collective way. The Great Misdirect sees Between the Buried & Me become an irresistable force, capable of crushing anything in their path. Only their will can slow them down, and if this album is any indication; either get on or get out of the way, because there's nothing stopping these guys.

Between the Buried & Me on MySpace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: What to Expect.

I'm the Mast and I'll keep this brief.

On this blog you can read reviews of comics and music that I enjoy, or perhaps even comics and music that I don't enjoy for variety's sake. In time, this may come to include other things, but it will never be a personal blog. If you're looking for an opinion on comics or music, that's what you'll find.

No pseudo-artsy black and white polaroids, no pretentious pictures of kitchen items at funny angles. Just the things that need to be here.

Reviews will include current and past music/comics. I will try to review things as they come out (In the case of comics, every thursday), leaving me time to do retroactive reviews whenever I wish. I may branch out into other related areas such as comic book movies or comic book video games. Primarily, though, this blog is for comics and music.

The first review will probably be up within a week, but I'm not sure precisely what it will be.

Until then, peace.

-The Mast