It's currently 1:04am on Friday the 27th of November. Once again I bought a lot of comics - seven to be precise - and then got side-lined by other matters that needed to be attended to. Still, I'm going to get six of the comics up and reviewed right here and now. As time goes on, I'll be able to fire them out in informative capsules as opposed to the meaty slabs of recent posts. This is because I will no longer need retrospectives as much, and those take up lots of time.
I say I'm going to be reviewing six of the seven because the seventh is rather old and rather special; a retro review for Saturday or Sunday. So, keep those eyelids held up higher than a Playboy bunny's obviously fake breasts.
Onto the reviews!
Hulk #17.
Jeph Loeb's Hulk series does not do anything for me; let me set that precedent right away. What began as the Hulk's new on-going series - after they re-numbered the rest into The Incredible Hercules - has now become Rulk's (Red Hulk) on-going series. Basically, a red hulk appeared out of nowhere and nobody knows who he is or why he exists. He drained the Hulk out of Banner - who, depowered and training his son, now has a rebooted and excellent on-going series written by Greg Pak - and now roams around doing various bad things and musing about how shitty his deal is.
Jeph Loeb is a capable writer, so it makes no sense why this series feels poor to me. The premise of a new Hulk was good, but the execution is bad. Thankfully, I do not read this series. I only bought the last few issues because Deadpool is in them, and being that I collect his appearances, I had to buy these. In this issue, Rulk fights She-Rulk (Yes, a red She-Hulk. Don't even get me started) after she showed up and screwed up his plans, which aren't clear. Deadpool was hired as part of a team to do a job that I've forgotten, and he doesn't do anything besides make banter. He's funny, but Marvel are taking liberties with him. Luckily this was just a guest appearance and I can save my opinion/"Why I Love Deadpool" post until a later date.
The art is cartoony and blocky, the story feels like nothing and this issue - like the rest of the Rulk issues - will go into my chronologically-ordered Deadpool appearances box and never seen again.
Avoid this shit. If you love Hulk, pick up Greg Pak's The Incredible Hulk on-going.
Thor: Giant-Size Finale..
Following on from Thor #603 (See the post before last), King Balder turns up at Bill's fatally wounded body to find him surrounded by the three Asgardians who accosted him by will of Loki. Upon being told that he attacked first, Balder is informed of Doom and Loki's plans by the ailing Bill. Enraged, Balder fights and triumphs over the traitorous Asgardians and witnesses Bill finally pass away, but not before he gives a message of love to be passed on to the goddess Queen Kelda.
This set's the stage for the Asgardians who haven't turned or been turned to band together at Balder's word and prepare a plan with which to disperse these sinister plans. Kelda, hearing of her mortal love's murder and being told of Loki's part in it, heads for Latveria to confront Doom. Meanwhile, the Doombots made for Loki have been sent to the town in which the Asgardian Warriors Three (Volstagg, Hogan and Fandral) and Sif (In human body) have remained. A fight ensues and it ends with Donald Blake being blasted before eventually turning into Thor and slaying the Doombots, warning his warriors of a dark time to come.
We see Donald Blake in hospital where the doctor tells him he is injured, but not beyond recovery. He suggests a cane, which Donald Blake finds amusing (He already has one which, when touched to the ground in a certain way, triggers his transformation).
The last part of the comic shifts to Kelda arriving at Castle Doom where Dr. Doom appears to taunt her. He says Loki has parted ways with him, but he is confused as to why an immortal queen pretends to care for a mortal. She destroys him, only to find that it is a traditional replica; a Doombot. She ventures inside to seek out her enemy only to be ambushed by the real Dr. Doom, who absorbs a tiny piece of her power. He states that he does not yet understand how they are able to live forever, but he shall persevere now that he has a taste of her. He beckons all Asgardians to come to him with their bodies, which he describes sinisterly as puzzle boxes to be unlocked.
Not an amazing issue, but it does what it needed to do and more. J. Michael Straczynski and Marko Djurdjevic both set the stage for the upcoming Siege storyline with a mixture of gorgeous artwork, epic scenes and dialogue that MORE than adequately conveys a feeling of something big on the horizon for these characters. Marko Djurdjevic has a habit of making Thor look like a bit of a retard, but otherwise he is astounding.
A fitting end to his stellar, if mis-handled, run on the comic. I look forward to Thor #604 next Thursday.
Guardians of the Galaxy #20.
I do not read Guardians on a regular basis, let me start by saying that. I picked this up because it's a Realm of Kings tie-in and, if the three central books we have so far are any indication, I want in on EVERY slice of this bad boy.
This one doesn't go too far to tie itself in, but it's quite an enjoyable read. This is to be expected as the great Dan Abnett is the writer on this series, having already penned War/Realm of Kings and Nova's on-going.
The Guardians of the Galaxy are a bunch of rag-tag cosmic heroes, to sum it up. After the terrigen bomb opened up the fault (See previous post, Realm of Kings #1 review), the Guardians restored order to the universe to some degree. It wasn't without penalty as it cost them a great deal of their roster. Well, so I've been reliably informed by a friend who reads the series.
#20 sees the Guardians trying to seemingly get some order and balance back to their lives and work through the grief, whilst also trying to figure out what kind of threat the fault presents. In quite a paranoid-driven issue that culminates in a scene reminiscent of John Carpenter's The Thing (See it), the reader gets the impression that those who lie in the fault are not only grotesquely horrific, evil and demonic; they are also cunning and deceptively parasitic. I'll keep an eye on this series. Abnett has hooked me again.
Uncanny X-Men #517.
During the events of Utopia - a Dark Reign mini-story - the X-Men were exiled from mainland...anywhere, really.
Cyclops used this opportunity to raise Magneto's former sanctuary - Asteroid M - from the depths; he called it Utopia. So begins the Nation X storyline.
Two issues ago Magneto showed up on the island. One issue ago he protested that he was there for peace and was amazed at what Cyclops had achieved. Meanwhile, Scalphunter - a Marauder/former Marauder - was hired by an unnamed source (Possibly a forgotten-by-me source) to fly a plane-load of Predator X creatures into Utopia, this achieving maximum lunchfest for the beasts. The plane approaches, doesn't answer to radio contact and after Nightcrawler hops onboard to check it out, he swiftly hops off and screams at Cyke to shoot it down.
Thus we enter the second issue of the Nation X storyline(#515 was the prologue, #516 was part one).
The issue begins right where the last left off and throws us right into a plane crash. The Predator Xs, upgraded it seems, escape and the entire issue is basically them trying to protect the island. It's a pretty fun, action-packed teamwork issue. Though it does feel as though very little is done. It ends with Scalphunter having a change of heart, killing the last Predator and being thrown in the X-brig while everyone tries to figure out what just happened, who sent the Predator Xs and also; who upgraded them. Danger (The character, not the concept) approaches Scalphunter on an island and says: "Welcome to the brig. I am Danger. What did you see on Utopia?".
I know this is building toward the actual Nation X five (I think) part series, but I'm not sure how or what for. I'm a little convinced that after Utopia, the X-Men were as they are in the comic; stuck in a limbo. I started buying Uncanny X-Men again from issue #513 because of Utopia, but the very reason I stopped is the same reason I find it hard to get behind this; the X-Men are just boring in their own comic. I hope this turns out not to be the case, but I am convinced it will be.
Also, the Stepford Cuckoos -three identical psychic X-women who talk in sync- passed out during the battle and some entity, explicitly stated as being the Phoenix force, left their bodies. Now, I like the X-Men more nowadays because Jean Grey fucked off. The second they bring her back, I am out of there.
All in all, a decent issue, but only if it's building toward something. Greg Land's art was enjoyable, but maybe I just have a soft spot for how he draws Psylocke (On the cover but not in the issue? Come on...).
Dark Avengers: Ares #2 of 3.
As a three-parter, this is going to be up there with some of my favourites.
The premise is that since Norman Osborn runs H.A.M.M.E.R. now (See Dark Reign retrospective), he has lots of soldiers. What's the best way to train soldiers? Get them a great teacher. Osborn happens to have Ares, the god of war, on his Dark Avengers roster. It gives him an idea; get soldiers trained by the actual god of war, thus becoming the toughest, greatest elite team of military grunts on Earth. It's narrated by one of the grunts, Cameron McGill.
#1 was basically the training issue. At the very end, Hera -Ares' mother- appears and informs Ares that his son is in trouble. Ares automatically assumes that she means Phobos, member of Nick Fury's Secret Warriors (Ares entrusted him into Fury's care despite them being enemies, as his son was so adamant about it). Furious at the fact that Nick Fury let him get hurt despite Ares' warning, he gathers his new group of troops and tells them they have a mission.
We open this issue with them on their way to the base that Hera directed them to. Finding it to be abandoned and filled with decapitated A.I.M. and Hydra bodies, they suspect something. Ares', never doubting his mother's word, presses on with his team. To his horror, he finds his son sure enough...but not Phobos. Kyknos is sitting among a pile of skulls and tells of his scorn for his father. Bitter that he was left to die at the hands of Hercules, Kyknos raises all the skeletal corpses from the dead using their teeth (Very Greek mythology of Gillen there, I dug that).
Fighting as they fall back, the soldiers retreat to the plane and Ares' buys them time, eventually being overwhelmed as the issue ends. Presumably being dragged to Hades.
Even though I am not sure where this fits into continuity, we must assume it does. It wraps up next month and unless something so diabolically bad happens, I'll be nicely satisfied with this slice of fun. Gillen has done a fine job.
The New Avengers #59.
At the end of the last issue of The New Avengers (A team on the run from Norman Osborn's law), the injured and dying Luke Cage -who gave himself up to let his teammates escape when surrounded- was operated on by Osborn's medical staff, with Osborn hinting at something sly.
We begin this issue with the New Avengers remaining members gathered at their safehouse as they try to figure out how to rescue Luke Cage. At that moment, Jessica Jones-Cage shows up with an army of fellow heroes (My boy Daredevil included) who all express friendship and respect for Cage, offering their help. Dr. Strange and Dr. Voodoo both scope out the area where Osborn is keeping him using astral projection and plans are finalised.
In one of the most exciting issues yet, we see The New Avengers attack and dismantle Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. This distracts Osborn enough to lead his Dark Avengers to that location. In this moment of security lapse, The N.A.'s (The New Avengers from now on) allies steal Cage back. Observing from their jet in a cloaked location, The N.A. see Osborn and his team arrive just in time to give Taskmaster (Appointed head of Camp H.A.M.M.E.R. I believe) a throttling. Bullseye chips in with the jokes and is swiftly uppercutted for his troubles by Taskmaster (I loved this, because Taskmaster is an underrated Deadpool enemy-then-tense-friend-now-bad-guy-again).
Back with Luke Cage, the situation is explained and he thanks everyone for their help. The panel zooms in and we see some kind of device attached to his heart, indicting that Osborn may still have the last laugh yet. Whatever this device does, it can't be good.
Bendis is again on form with this issue; his ability to write Dark Reign's two main on-going series' (This and Dark Avengers) with unerring quality and consistency is astounding. Immonen's artwork is nothing short of some of the best you'll see in a modern comic, and this does not hurt.
I await every single issue of this comic, and heading into the Bendis-helmed Siege, I am salivating. Good job, sir. Bring on issue #60!
Well, with stopping, starting and arranging this post...it is now 3:47am. I will be back on Saturday/Sunday with a special retro review that'll be a lot of fun to write.
Thanks again for reading, IF you're reading. See you soon. Go buy comics!
Peace.
-The Mast
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