The Mast Looks Back: Vol. 3 (Where to Start with Cave In).

Dynamite!

I have wanted to do this for a very, very long time now. The trouble with doing a Where to Start With... is choosing a band or artist that's suitable. You want to pick a subject with enough albums, but you also want one that's varied enough in their work to provide levels of recommendation.

Lots of people come to me for music recommendations and this is as good a method as any to distribute my opinions. People who ask me for new bands to listen to can come here, check these kinds of posts, and go about their business.

I was going to choose an artist extremely dear to my heart, but I figured I'd save that for a specific day in February. So, welcome to my very first post of this kind. I hope you enjoy it, I suppose.

The band I've chosen are still relatively unsung, they probably always will be. They're also one of the best.


Cave In

Cave In, for all intents and purposes, are an alternative rock band with metal influences, some might say alternative metal. I don't do the whole anally labelling of genres thing. Only a few tags were, are and will ever be needed, so deal with it.

Their music ranges from soaring and intricate rock melodies, packed with sharp and glistening tunefulness, to metal straight from the bowels of Boston's harder music scenes. Sometimes Cave In mix the two, sometimes they couldn't be more separate, but either way they do what they do amazingly well. Additionally, Stephen Brodsky is one of the most imaginative lyricists I have read (One of the few lyricists I ever pay attention to) and Cave In are one of the few bands who've never had a shit song title, haha. Seriously, they're all good.

In these posts I will be recommending albums in the following catagories:

• The Avoidable.
• The Wildcard.
• The Good.
• The Best of the Rest.
• The Essential.

This way, you will know which albums you should avoid, which albums you may like, which albums are solid and which albums you'll probably like and can't miss out on respectively.

Do I amaze you?

Anyway, now I've given you the low-down on their sound and stuff, let's get to what you wanna hear.


Creative Eclipses by Cave In.
The Avoidable.

This is actually an EP, not an album, but nevertheless I feel it deserves this spot. It's not bad, by any means. The issue I have is that you shouldn't check it out unless you are already acquainted with Cave In. It contains five songs, only one of which is really any good and that's the opener, Luminance (When I say it's good, I mean it's amazing). Luminance is a spacey, explosive epic, it's a precursor to what Cave In would become, but the rest is just a cover and some filler songs. Fine, if you want to have heard everything by Cave In, but not an area or investment for new fans. It IS important, though, as this CD is the release that saw Cave In hint to something much greater which I will touch on later.


Tides of Tomorrow by Cave In.
The Wildcard.

A wildcard in the sense that it had many fans, but a few detractors, Tides of Tomorrow is yet ANOTHER EP that bridges a gap between albums. Just prior to signing their first major label deal, this is what Cave In produced as a stop-gap between their life as independent champions and a life as proposed mainstream breakthrough artists.

It very much focuses on Cave In's style at the time of its release. Coming out in 2002, this was the second of their efforts that truly heralded their adventures into more varied music.

It has a fair amount of potential, containing such strong tracks as Come into Your Own and The Callus, whilst also boasting the unforgettably powerful rock gem that is Dark Driving. Whether or not you'll like this is totally up in the air, hence calling it the wildcard. If you're not a fan of Cave In's more melodic style, this won't work for you. If you are, you'll probably like it...but you still may not. As good as some of these tracks are, it feels...sterile. It feels ever so slightly edged onto the side of melodic anonymity as opposed to melody that stands out from the crowd. I suppose whether or not you like it depends on whether or not you like this specific set of songs; that's what it'll most likely come down to.

It's worth checking out if you're fond of their work, and while it's not an impossible jumping-on point, it's not necessarily the best one.


Perfect Pitch Black by Cave In.
The Good.

Released in 2005, Perfect Pitch Black was a fairly awaited release due to the album that preceeded it (More or that NEXT).

Eyebrows were raised when it was stated that they had compiled this album through new-old-songs. Songs that had existed for a while and had been played live at shows, but never truly released. Cave In reworked them for this release and, back on their old label, they presented it as a combination of their past metal work and their more current progressive style.

That's quite literally what it is, and in a very good way. It isn't just an album full of melodic song/heavy song/melodic song structure, it actually incorporates both into many of the tracks. The World Is in Your Way is a perfect semi-opener, combining the bombastic rock immensity of Cave In's best progressive style with scorchingly excellent heavy guitar parts and accented heavy vocals by bassist Caleb Scofield (Taking over from lead vocalist Stephen Brodsky, who opted to protect his voice).

Down the Drain is a thoughtfully meditative number containing some muffled and distorted guitar strumming and well timed drum patterns. Trepanning is an all out hard rock stomper with decidedly heavy vocals, again, courtesy of the monstrous Caleb Scofield.

It's a very good effort, but it doesn't show Cave In at their best on either side of the fence. If you want their best metal work, you should be checking out Until Your Heart Stops, not this. This album just shows how well they can do both, but it doesn't show how amazingly they can do one or the other.


Antenna by Cave In.
The Best of the Rest.

Curiously, Cave In don't play much of this album's material live. They simply do not like it, it seems. Whether or not this is because it reminds them of a more unsettling time in the band's history (Their first major label album, and with it, major label politics dealings) or because they just don't like it, is a mystery.

What IS clear is that, to me, it's a testament to their ability as a band. Packed full of outrageously memorable, tuneful and grandiose rock efforts, Antenna is an album that everyone should be checking out if they're into rock music. I actually think it's like their OK Computer; the album that would have had the best mainstream appeal, contained amazing music, but still wasn't their greatest.

Stained Silver is an opener that lets you know a bit of what you can expect with it's loud guitars and accellerated alternative rock riffing. Anchor - made into the band's only true music video to date I believe - is an eternal highlight for me. From the opening riff that extends throughout the song, to the ethereal bridge and back to the tongue-in-cheek lyrics...it's excellent. It's not all stomping rock effort, though. Sea Frost is a nine minute opus that sways back and forth with heavenly blanketed melody and chill, whilst Youth Overrided's odd tempoed rhythms coupled with its astounding chorus provide enough variety for it to keep you interested.

Woodwork, personally, is an underrated masterpiece of a song. That's just me and most fans seem to hate it. Oh well.

If you're gonna check out Cave In, I would say that this is MAYBE the best jumping-on point. A rock masterpiece.


Jupiter by Cave In.
The Essential.

Easily...EASILY one of the absolute best albums of all time, Jupiter is the group's undisputed masterpiece to me. Coming second in 2000's album of the year race to Kid A, barely (Imagine that, BARELY missing out to Kid A), Jupiter is an album that is an exception to the rule.

When a band, famous for being very heavy, turns its eyes toward more melodic leanings, the fans usually tend to scream for justice and beg them not to do it. If it's done for the sake of it, it can indeed be a bad move, and fans usually don't have a clue what'll work anyway. Cave In, however, did NOT have that issue. As soon as their fans heard Jupiter, it was only the staunchest, most idiotic of fans that accused them of anything negative.

From the masterful and geniusly creative ensemble instrumental work of Brodsky, McGrath, Connors and Scofield to the creativity of songwriting that Brodsky provides, everything about this album is as close to perfect as I can imagine. It's a version of perfect, to my ears.

On Jupiter (Title song), the band shows such ambitious and unparalled understanding of rock music that it manages to combine the sound of stadium-filling majesty with cultish, esoteric alternative sensibilities and WORK AMAZINGLY. A chorus unlike anything I'd felt in a long time and imagery beyond most frontmen's ability, these are traits that permeate and soak the entire album.

In the Stream of Commerce will forever rank as one of my favourite songs of all time, showcasing Brodsky's ability to shift from Grohl-esque rock adrenaline to swooping, operatic falsetto. Brain Candle is a song that could cheer up anyone's day with it's 100mph melodic guitar onslaught, and Big Riff has a solo that deserves to be etched in stone in the pantheon of all great guitar solos. As with all great albums, you need a memorable closer, right? New Moon is JUST that, a pounding epic with ferociously passionate vocals and drum work, coupled with echoey guitar blasts (I know, the name reminds me of the franchise we shall not speak of, too. Just try to ignore it).

From songs that come at you unashamedly, to songs that are secretly deceiving, Jupiter is a masterpiece in every single aspect that it tries its luck at...minus the luck. On this album Cave In put the music world's posers and shitkickers to shame with one wave of their collective hand. A portrait of a band going dangerously fast, like a raging river. Not in hopes of stopping a final location, but in fear of ever stopping at all.

It's almost depressing, really. People listen to the likes of Lady Gaga and consider her ahead of the curve, creative and innovative. If only people had the presence of mind to listen to the likes of Jupiter. An album 10 years old containing such unfathomable genius that it probably won't be matched or surpassed by most bands for another 10 or 20 years.

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I hope you enjoyed that post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Seriously check these guys out and you won't regret it, I promise.

Cave In released their most recent and phenomenal work last year as the online/vinyl only EP, Planets of Old. You can find it on the U.S. iTunes store and streaming at this location. It's due for CD release this month, so if you feel so inclined, go pick that up. It's amazing, especially Cayman's Tongue. What a song that is.

That's all I have for you guys right now, unfortunately. Again, thank you so much for reading and keep your eyes fixed to this page for my epic Daredevil post, coming on Tuesday!

Until then, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs/Reviews: Upcoming Attractions & Thursday's Comics (14/1/10).

Oops! I snap-a de pencil!

First and foremost, you can scroll down or click here for my Haunt #4 review, which I have added to last week's post.

I feel like I haven't actually updated this thing in a while even though it's only been a week, crazy. I think what makes me feel like I haven't updated in a while is the fact that I haven't done any updates between last Thursday and now. I do have an album review planned and I do have my massive Daredevil post in the works, too.

The music post is going to be a guide. I'm thinking of doing a post revolving around Where to Start with *Insert Band/Artist*. You know, a run-down of a band or artist's sound and then recommended albums by that band or artist. Expect that sometime on Saturday or Sunday.

My Daredevil post will be on Monday or Tuesday.

Anyway, with all that said, let's get to my review of Thursday's Comics (14/1/10)!


Dark X-Men #3 of 5.

This is a series I've all but lost interest in. It's not that it's BAD, I just feel that it's a missed and mistimed opportunity. Let me clarify that point.

Dark X-Men, by name included, is an extension of the Dark Reign event (Although it's more a status quo than an event). It involves the return of prodigal mutant shaman, Nate Grey, also known as X-Man (Alternate reality son of a Cyclops clone and a Jean Grey clone). Nate had been missing for a while and I feel that his reveal deserved to be a bit more involving and handled with a bit more grandeur.

I feel as though he was crowbarred into Dark Reign and an ultimately ineffectual X-Men mini-series when his return wasn't even needed. Additionally, it's just hard to tell WHEN all of this is supposed to happen. All of the people featured are currently off raiding Asgard, so how are they also fighting/dealing with Nate Grey? I'm not gonna bitch TOO much, because it's hard enough to keep things as tied together as they do.

Last issue, Nate Grey discovered what Norman Osborn has been up to and he's really not happy. This issue pretty much involves Nate Grey fighting with the Dark Avengers for a bit before freaking Sentry out. Nate refers to a connection between the two and Sentry is visibly shaken, but all of the Dark Avengers descend upon him and eventually appear to have triumphed, even though Nate is not fully invested in the battle. Osborn's plan, obviously, is to use Nate Grey's immense power in the Omega Machine (For those just joining us, it's a device used to siphon mutant powers and pump them into Dark X-Men's Weapon Omega, also known as Michael Pointer).

Nate's body crumbles to dust after a great explosion of light and Osborn declares him dead, saying that his systems find no signs of life. The issue ends with Mystique confronting Osborn and handing out all these extravagant demands in exchange for keeping a secret. The secret, it's revealed, is that Nate has possessed Norman Osborn.

The issue ends.

Ok, so...if you're confused as Hell and happen to be thinking: "It probably makes way more sense if you read it.", then you're wrong. I'm as lost as you guys may be. I don't know if I'm missing something or not reading something, but it honestly seems to me like this is going nowhere. I'm not sure what they were thinking of by having Nate Grey possess Norman. That's a big deal, and considering it would probably put an interesting spin on Dark Reign, it's a shame they decided to wait until everyone had move onto Siege.

It's the continuity that really grabs me about this. In all the other Dark Reign-involved stories I've read, Norman has seemed to have no interaction with Nate Grey or the Dark X-Men.

It seems a shame to stop now, so I'll keep going until the end. If you literally want everything from Dark Reign or you're an X-Man collecter, then this is something you'll want. Outside of that, I can't recommend this title. It's just a little too cluttered and it has come at the wrong time. I think Marvel's writers just tried to have Dark Reign reach TOO far and now it's just too late, what with Siege bringing Dark Reign to an end.

A shame.


Nation X #2 of 4.

You already know my feelings regarding this mini-series by now, and let me say that it doesn't get much better.

Aside from how unstoppably cool Jubilee looks on the cover - in a very neo-'80s manner I might add - the pleasantries go no further. Nation X doesn't seem to be a four parter about life on Utopia, it seems to be a four part series that collects short stories regarding various inhabitants of Utopia. It doesn't seem to be ONE story, but a VERY vague underpinning thread that connects everyone.

I never liked Jubilee, never will. She's pointless to me. This issue focuses on stories from the point of view of Northstar, Jubilee and Gambit as the cover would suggest. Jubilee's tale isn't bad, to be honest. It features her trying to write and re-write a letter to her former compatriots on Utopia (She's no longer an X-Man OR a mutant anymore. See M-Day for details), whilst simultaneously having a chat to some of the current residents of the island.

It has interesting elements that could be worked with; a girl who never fit in because she was a mutant, and now she feels left out because she's no longer a mutant. There's themes of mid-to-late teen-ery there that could be used to non-annoying degrees, but like EVERY ONE of the X-Books right now, nothing will come of it.

Northstar's story is accompanied by such abominably awful art that I couldn't bear to read it. Seriously, if you ever get the chance, check it out for a laugh (Andrew, if you get a chance to flip through it at work, do so! I've not seen art so bad in a while!). Gambit's isn't as bad, but the dialogue is utterly dreadful and the story is nothingness.

I started picking up Nation X because it stemmed from Utopia...which had ties to Dark Reign. This is just bullshit. I'm definitely convinced it IS the X-Men, not the writers. Matt Fraction (Not the writer of Nation X) writes a MEAN Thor and according to Andrew, a good Iron Man (I need to get some trades for the recent Iron Man series actually!), but his X-Men works are just failure.

X-Men exist in that area of uselessness. The Avengers have always had individual characters that, alone or together, make up great stories or are capable of great stories. The X-Men do not, and I wouldn't mind if they combined to form something good, but they don't.

If you're short on cash, even if you're not, avoid the X-Books. Really. Avoid Nation X, avoid Uncanny X-Men, avoid Dark X-Men.

Bloody Hell! There are only three comics today and two of them have been negative reviews! We'll soon fix that.


Realm of Kings: Imperial Guard #3 of 5.

Ahhh! *Bathes in good comic-ness*

Last issue we saw The Shi'ar Imperial Guard and their former enemies, The Starjammers, venture into The Fault to retrieve empirical data on this STILL unknown force. Upon being swallowed by a dead biological warship of IMMENSE proportions, they discovered that cannibalistic organisms were feeding on it, and fancied a taste of Shi'ar royalty and intergalactic pirate!

In this issue, the suspense is built around them being closed in on from all angles and having to repair their ship in time. If that wasn't enough, the ship that they're currently residing in has decided that it would rather self-dissolve than be eaten alive...or dead. I gotta say, Abnett is doing a BANGING job of making The Fault seem indescribably dangerous. We have already seen a snippet of what's come to be known as the Cancerverse, of course (See Realm of Kings #1 review), and it does The Fault justice.

As you'll know from reading this blog, I'm a big fan of dialogue that SELLS me the story. If you can convince me that the enemy is a big bad-ass that deserves to be feared, if you can make me believe that it poses a threat, I'm in. Bendis is great at this, amazing in fact. Abnett, cosmic-story wizard that he is, also happens to be a master of this. When Oracle surmises that the only reason for a biological ship to be eating itself into oblivion is because it has enemies of such ravenous hunger and evil that even in death it does not which to suffer them, you KNOW the shit is serious.

Eventually, they escape and continue along their journey to find the data they are looking for. Unfortunately for them, they also find what the ship before them was seemingly so afraid of...and it's the first real, big encounter that anyone has had with creatures from The Fault.

This thing...things, I don't even know what they are or IT is, but The Starjammers' ship is dwarfed by it. Hilariously and frighteningly dwarfed by this nightmarish concept and monstrosity that lay before them.

Finally, the two mini-series' that seemed lost without a central series to anchor them seem to finally be picking up. I'm VERY excited for #4, I can say that much. I only hope that between the last two issues of Realm of Kings: Imperial Guard and last three of Realm of Kings: Inhumans, we get lots of shit that makes the event worthwhile. Two/Three issues to get shit done isn't always a lot, really.

There are always the Nova/Guardians tie-ins, but you should never rely on those things.

Regardless, Abnett is on-point yet again. Unsurprisingly. I sound like a broken record, but if you want a solid writer to invest in outside of Bendis, Brubaker or Van Lente, you go with Abnett. He has single handedly not only revitalised a lot of fringe cosmic characters, but written them into stories so epic that I can't recommend them enough.

Realm of Kings is one of those.

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Well, I'm afraid that's about all I've got for you guys today!

One last thing, though. I may be ready to unleash my mega-announcement in the near future. Trust me when I say that if it works out - me announcing it will mean such, as I won't announce it if it's uncertain - it's going to be amazing!

Watch this space for 2010, guys and girls. You WON'T regret it.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Reviews: Thursday's Comics (7/1/2010).

Avast!

My apologies for this not being up yesterday; I had it all mostly written and saved, but for some reason Blogspot wouldn't load/post for me, AND my internet was being funky. I've dated it according to the date I saved the drafts, though.

So, without further ado I bid you welcome to the first edition of Thursday's Comics of 2010! Only three comics this week, but boy are they good. Let's talk some stuff!

EDIT: Now with added Haunt #4!


Haunt #4.

SUCH a good series.

I was discussing this with Andrew recently. What seemed like a piece of mid-'90s violent pleasure has now turned into a rather captivating and intriguing thriller/horror/action story!

So, where were we last issue? Ahh, yes. The organisation that Kurt Kilgore worked for has a mole and nobody besides the reader knows who that mole is. The agency tells Daniel in no uncertain terms that he is to be treated as his brother was. He has all clearance levels at H.Q. and will be privvy to specific, classified information.

While he is standing with Director Stanz, observing one of Dr. Shillinger's failed test subjects, it is surmised that should the technology fall into the wrong hands...it could be dire. The information contained within his elusive and missing notebook contains all the secrets regarding what he was up to and what he achieved. The test subjects mutate and develop insane strength and high pain resistance, and the excuse we get for wanting the details back is because the military could weaponise it or a terrorist could weaponise it etc. Very cliche, but this series has proven it's not above that.

Amanda, Kurt's former girlfriend, is said to be in great danger and thus the agency is monitoring her as she is protected by two guards. The guards are assassinated in gruesome fashion by someone off-panel and we see Amanda being dragged out of the car. The agency traces her as Daniel bonds with Kurt's spirit to become Haunt, setting off to rescue her...in a car.

Now, I loved that, I really think it helped ground the character. They're still learning how to work together as one, and it would have made less sense if they just went off, goo-swinging through the city. The part where they (Isn't it weird how I never refer to Carnage or Venom as THEY, but I do with Haunt) accidentally drive out of a high-storey parking garage was a nice touch of team work. Kurt telling Daniel to go limp if he didn't want his arms broken - so that he could extend his limbs out of the car and brace for impact by using his tendrils as bungee cords - was also pretty good in terms of getting across the infancy of such a character.

Anyway, HE catches up with the kidnappers and, after busting through the wall, kills them all in THE most delicious of ways. I mean, really. He fires a tendril-blade at this guy's mouth and it half-decapitates him, leaving only his tongue and bottom row of teeth.

This is REAL nasty stuff, and it's fucking awesome.

Cobra shows up and gives Haunt a run for his money before in an act of desperation, Haunt caves his face in and forces him to retreat. Haunt MASSIVELY depletes the hosts energy, so it can only be used in bursts; the obligatory downside to having such awesome powers, but it had to come sooner or later.

Needless to say, Haunt saves Amanda and after all that, she doesn't actually know where the notes are, it turns out. Nor does she know who Haunt is underneath. Mr. Hurg, the obvious main bad guy, is scolding Cobra for his failure after years of continued good service. He warns him not to consider this a second chance, but a last chance, and says that he better not fail agaim.

He is interrupted by a phone call asking if he is still interesting in Dr. Shillinger's notes. After agreeing to listen, the phone call switches from Hurg's view to the caller's; a chick clad in all black, with a sniper rifle strapped to her back and the bag of notes resting at her feet. She tells Hurg that if he's willing to buy, she's willing to sell and the issue ends.

Haunt was always going to be a very tricky sell, it has a LOT of pits to avoid falling into and a lot of labels that it needed to avoid, and no, it doesn't avoid them all. It's a very cliched story up to this point and I don't ever forsee it becoming something original. It has massively clear ties to McFarlane's run as Spider-Man artist and that whole symbiotic relationship that was made famous by Venom (He's the inker/co-creator and sometimes cover artist, not actual comic artist on Haunt. That's Ryan Ottley, penciller). It has your standard characters; the ambigious agency director, the brothers-at-war-but-slowly-making-peace, the love interest caught in the middle.

I don't think Kirkman or McFarlane would begrudge the title being labelled as those things, and it would be remarkably naive of them to suggest their title does not carry these traits with it.

However, it's a breath of fresh air when every fight in the modern comics era seems to be consisting of a few punches thrown and that's it. Granted, I'm a Marvel head and outside of the MAX series, you can't expect them to be featuring impalement and decapitation, but it IS a welcome change. It's very beautiful gore, also. It's not intentionally comedic as Kill Bill was, it IS intense, but it's almost balletic. There's something so artistic about seeing this wirey-yet-muscley figure flying through the air, liberating body parts from bodies in the most imaginative of ways.

It's like something out of Clive Barker's books. Better yet, if you've ever seen Hellraiser or any of its sequels, you know the kind of gore I'm talking about. Ryan Ottley's pencil work really helps this sense of lethality because EVERYTHING looks sharp, it's exciting. I also REALLY love the covers, but unfortunately the ones I seem to get, except for #2, are all the normal versions. They're so cool, but there always seems to be a really gory variant and I never seem to see it.

For example, here's Haunt #4's variant.

You know? I digress.

Aside from the aforementioned cliches and redeemingly beautiful gore/art, the story is also reasonably cliche, but still intriguing enough to secure me as a regular buyer. I would be lying if I said I hadn't seen this kind of set up before, but I've seen it done badly way more than good, and this is GOOD. Better than good.

I do have a feeling there's a lot more of this story to tell and that it could very well be something unmissable if they turn it into a gem of a unique title.

I'll keep my eye open for the first trade, and let y'all peoples know when it's out and where you can get it from. This isn't a series to slack off on, especially since we're only four issues into the first EVER volume. Pick it up.



Deadpool Team-Up #897.

Adam Glass isn't someone I'm overly familiar with as a writer, and that's why I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this issue.

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you'll know my opinion of this series. For those of you that don't, let me tell you. Deadpool Team-Up, as a series, is like Foo Fighters albums. You know it will be the same thing every time, so essentially it depends on two things:

1) If you like Foo Fighters.

2) If you happen to like ths songs on that particular album.

This series is the same kind of deal. It's the same thing in every issue, and whether or not you like it will depend heavily on whether you like Deadpool and/or whether you like that specific story.

Deadpool Team-Up #897 features the brothers in vengeance themselves, Danny Ketch and Johnny Blaze, The Ghost Riders.

Deadpool is hired by a midget and a bearded lady to take out their rather vicious freakshow owner. Deadpool, after interrogating them in hopes of discovering that they are from Punk'D, accepts this job and sets off to the carnival.

Upon finding the man giving a speech on stage, Deadpool attempts to assassinate him. The shot to the head fails as he rises up and most of the crowd turn into demons. The Ghost Riders show up and stop Deadpool from killing all the innocents, which Deadpool believes to be the humans, but is quickly corrected when they inform him that the demons are just innocent people possessed.

They team up and head off to find the freakshow leader. By this point it is revealed by The Ghost Riders that he - Known as Lobster Boy, by the way - is possessed by one of "The Fallen", a demon known as Xaphon.

Arriving at his tent, Deadpool sneaks in by disguising himself as a freak. This hilariously involves him cutting off his own legs and crawling there without his mask on, then looking up at the guards and saying: "Sup?!", with an incredibly cheesy grin.

Deadpool allows himself to be possessed so that The Ghost Riders can temporarily kill his body, thus killing the demon inside without killing an innocent host. The issue ends with Deadpool, and the bearded lady who hired him, walking off into the sunset.

I think the great thing about this series is that they are one-and-dones that people can easily jump in on. If you want a dose of Deadpool that isn't necessarily accurate or in continuity, then Deadpool Team-Up is DEFINITELY for you. You don't have to pick it up every month, they're all self-contained and by sheer virtue of Marvel having lots of writers, some are bound to be better than others.

Three issues in (Not including Deadpool #900) and we've had two decent issues and one that's pretty ok. I'm indifferent to this particular issue, really. The Ghost Riders aren't people that should be in this book, at all. Hercules? Yeah. The Zapata Bros? Yeah. The Ghost Riders? Not at all. Any character guest starring in these books will be subject to comedic depiction and The Ghost Riders are just not those kind of guys.

The story was, as I said, something I'm indifferent to. I would not lament the loss of this on-going, let me say that. One less subscription wouldn't bother me at all if this was the book that got cancelled. It's by no means bad, but it's not guaranteed to be good seeing as it has a different writer each month. I'm obligated to keep buying them because I didn't spend nearly a grand to restart and complete my Deadpool collection only to stop now. If you're interested at all, hit up your comic shop and grab one of the three that are out (I have reviewed all of them on here, if you want to know what I thought).

My advice would be to not get next month's, though. Simply because it looks irredeemably stupid.

Your call.


Siege: Embedded #1 of 4.

I was going to review this before Siege #1, since that's the BIG comic this week (Not that I haven't been waiting for it for AGES or anything), but such is the story of this that it needed to come after.

At first I thought this title was just a variant of Siege #1, but it's not.

The Civil War event was accompanied by a mini-series called Civil War: Frontline. This series details former Daily Bugle reporter Ben Urich's work on left-wing publication, Frontline. It was basically the events of Civil War as seen through his publication, with more added side-story thrown in.

Siege: Embedded is sort of like that, pleasantly surprising me. Ben Urich arrives in Chicago to report on the damage of the Soldier Field incident involving Volstagg and The U-Foes.

He is arrested and left in a cop car until his friend - William Stern, a disgraced news anchor - coincidentally shows up and frees him. At the same time, a plot point develops involving a very Fox News-esque television host and the agents of H.A.M.M.E.R., that involve Norman Osborn's public image. This isn't delved into much on account of Siege's main book needing to not be spoiled, but it revolves around Osborn wanting the media to make him look as biasedly heroic as possible.

After escaping, Urich and Stern discreetly observe the damage as Norman Osborn and co are aiding in the clear-up. Urich and Stern go to a diner where they discuss their theories of Norman Osborn and his possible involvement, stopping only to talk shit about Todd Keller (The Fox News-esque guy).

Coincidentally, Volstagg is seen walking past the diner and they go to request an interview with him. After pairing up, he agrees to travel with them to Asgard - where he was on his way to anyway, to face what he feels is a necessary punishment for the chaos caused by him - as they confess they are going to bring down Norman Osborn with journalism.

This issue was cool, but only for the ideas presented and only because I dig the alternate storytelling of events like this. Not to mention that I've always liked Ben Urich.

I just feel that the flaws are a bit too clear in this issue. Everything that happens to Urich happens in an unbelievably coincidental manner, and though I understand this is to get the premise out of the way for future issues, it's a tad annoying. Todd Keller's plotline can't progress because it would reveal parts of the story that I don't feel are allowed to be revealed yet. Additionally, I think a slightly more seedy kind of artwork fares better on titles that aren't packed with action. From Hell, for example, wouldn't have worked in colour as much. I'm not saying Siege: Embedded should be black and white, I just feel the art isn't the most appropriate, though it is good enough.

This issue also has an amazing cover, courtesy of the one and only Adi Granov.

In summation: It's a good issue. I can be less harsh on these flaws because I understand why they're there. I think this series shows promise, I really do. It won't be crucial, but it can offer an intriguing take on what, in theory, could be Marvel's most legendary event in a long time.


Siege #1 of 4.

If you wish to know a bit about how Siege came to be, read my Dark Reign retrospective or my review of Siege: The Cabal. Also, check out the free online Siege: Prologue for an exclusive pre-story story!

Anyway...

This is it. The start.

The issue begins with Loki and Norman Osborn discussing how to hatch their plans to deal with Asgard being on Earth, a plan conceived in Siege: The Cabal. This conversation is held via speech boxes, voiceovers if you wish to call them that. It sees Norman and Loki discussing their plans in the past as the event they planned actually unfolds before the reader.

Volstagg of Asgard is seen stopping a robber. However, due to his inability to comprehend how his powers will affect the mortal world - add to the the fact that he's a bit stupid - he causes a HUGE amount of inner-city damage. The U-Foes, by command of Norman Osborn, do battle with him, blasting him into a nearby baseball stadium, Soldier Field in Chicago.

As Vector and X-Ray hurl massive energy blasts at him, he deflects them. Unfortunately, this causes the destruction of the stadium and deaths of, presumably, everyone in it. This was the inciting incident that they both planned to use to sway the government's opinion and get them to see Asgard as a threat, thus approving an invasion.

After saying: "Send for The (Dark) Avengers and the entire roster of The Initiative; we're invading Asgard.", Osborn proceeds to brief the Dark Avengers on this plan to varying degrees of success. I'd like to point out that the combination of Bendis' pin-point dialogue and Olivier Coipel's art truly does set that moment in stone. When Osborn says - facing the viewer - that they will invade Asgard, you don't know whether he's gone truly off the wagon or if he clearly and sanely believes he can do this.

The dialogue between himself and Ares is just exquisite; it really is. Bendis truly does nail the one thing that needed to be nailed; we needed to believe that Osborn was going too far and that even his sometimes insane associates believed so too.

Ares opposes the idea, almost instantly disagreeing with a war against gods, saying that it's something no mortal man should do. Osborn convinces him, though his agreement is painfully reluctant. The conversation ends with Ares telling Osborn that he will cut his head off: "Armour and all.", if he is lying.

The rest of the Dark Avengers consider Osborn to be similarly nuts, but they agree after being told that they can go free if they help him on this last mission. Again, Bendis conveys the difference of opinion between all parties so excellently, whilst also conveying the fact that no matter what the reaction, they all think Osborn has gone batshit insane. Bullseye would probably be the star of this, I'd say. He's the first to proclaim bad-ass status, but when asked if he won't do it because he's afraid, he literally has no shame. This moment of clarity in the minds of the otherwise insane is what the believability of Osborn's sanity, or lack thereof, hinged on.

Elsewhere, it turns out that the government absolutely does not approve of Osborn's plans at all. While on the phone with Victoria Hand, the President goes so far as saying that he's out of control, the complete opposite reaction that Osborn hoped for. Ares delivers a rousing speech to the multiple hundreds, possibly thousands, of gathered superheroes and supposedly reformed supervillains alike, before they all go out to storm Asgard.

Loki, ever the instigator, appears before King Balder and informs him of Osborn's plans. He claims that he tried to stop him, but the incident with Volstagg has forced the hand of the mortal men. The Asgardians assemble as Osborn and his troops arrive and the battle sort of begins.

Sentry is seen flying into battle in front of Osborn and the gravity of this event appears to be real. It's at this particular moment, and thanks to the art of Coipel, that I started to believe Siege really would be what it was hyped as.

The best moment, for me, was when the scene switched to a hospital in Broxton, Oklahoma; otherwise known as the current location of Asgard. As Dr. Donald Blake (Thor's human form) watched over the hospitalised Tony Stark, Maria Hill called his attention to the window. Upon seeing jets and H.A.M.M.E.R. tech fly over, Blake quickly realises they're after Asgard, not Stark.

In a massively exciting moment, Blake tells Maria to take Stark and get away from the area. He wanders outside and with the jets flying overhead, says: "Guide me, Father.". Ramming his cane into the ground, he transforms into Thor and flies toward his home.

Naturally, when lightning began to fill the sky, Osborn and his troops started getting scared. Thor flies down at a rapid rate, but is intercepted by Sentry who manages to drill him into the floor in the desert outside Asgard. Thor responds by smacking him into the Heavens as Osborn and troops descend upon him.

I must say, I loved the fact that they teased the fight we all want to see, but in two blows it felt like they had just touched on it enough, you know? Sentry got a hit in, Thor got a hit in; so epic. I hope those two throw down before Siege is over.

Osborn and others begin blasting away at Thor, and as a news helicopter begins to broadcast that Thor has been taken down (We don't see this, we only see figures in the dust below), the issue ends with Steve Rogers - Captain America costume and all - grimacing as he watches.

I wasn't totally expecting a massive blow-out in the first issue, and that's not what we got. I am so glad that Siege had the feeling of precisely that, a Siege, but a calculated one. We got a fair amount of action that benefitted from all this hype and a bit of preparation in this issue itself. Everything felt like an appropriate reactionary story, and with multiple tie-ins and three more issues to go until it ends, I am MASSIVELY confident that this series will live up to the hype plus more.

Bendis has got me squirming on the hook. I await to be reeled in.

All in all, a PHENOMENAL start.

---

Once again, I want to thank you all for reading and, if you haven't read my blog before, for checking it out in the first place. In which case, welcome!

I'm not entirely sure that there're many comics coming out next week either, probably another four. So, for those of you who thought the six/seven comics per week was too much to read, enjoy this while you can!

I may retroactively review Haunt #4 and stick it in this post, or I may just tack it onto next week's edition of Thursday's Comics; we'll see and I'll keep you posted.

For now, though, that's all I've got for you people.

Before I go, though, I have TWO pieces of news.

1) I am thinking of doing a massive Daredevil post in a similar vein to my Deadpool one. Thoughts?

2) In a couple of weeks or more I MAY...MAY...have an announcement of massive proportions. Keep your eyes peeled, cos this will be huge if I pull it off.

Until next time, peace.

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: A Sucker for Variants.

Boom!

Do you like how I randomly choose phrases and words with which to open my posts now? I do.

This is just another small update designed to gush about an aspect of comics I had not fallen victim to...until now!

Variants, for those watching at home, are alternate versions of comic covers. If a comic has variants, that means it has a couple of different covers for the same issue. Some become very sought after collector's items, some become just cool versions to pick up. Regardless, I'd never been into it. Deadpool comics often have various variants, but I'm only really about the appearances as opposed to variants. Unless it's stellar, I will avoid it. Of course, the one time I wanted Hulk #14's stupidly rare Deadpool variant, what happens? It's impossible to get. Bastards!

This brings me to something awesome! Courtesy of Newsarama, I bring you some variants being released in February! Not just any variants, oh no, but variants that feature Deadpool! Deadpool isn't even in any of these comics, which makes it hilarious. The variants are for: Iron Man #25, Dark Avengers #14, Daredevil #505 and - my personal favourite - Fantastic Four #576 respectively.

















I...LOVE that Fantastic Four cover. If it's not too expensive, I'm going to have to hunt that one down. I also like the Daredevil one. Not only does it use the original image from Daredevil #187, but it features Deadpool in the variant. The Fantastic Four one definitely wins, though.

Normally I hate posting covers without all the proper text overlay, but until the comics are released, you can't find those images anywhere. The only reason the Iron Man one is there is because they don't have traditional text overlay on those issues right now.

Oh well.

I figured I'd share these little beauties with all of you adorable flesh-creatures before tomorrow; the first edition of Thursday's Comics for 2010! Most importantly, it's the release of Siege #1!

You probably won't want to miss it.

Until then, peace!

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: Title Amendment/Get Excited, People.

Welcome to 2010, and welcome to The Mast*; because fact into doubt won't work!

FIRST: The title of retro reviews will no longer be The Mast Goes Retro; it's too tricky trying to define what's old and what's old enough to be called a retro reviews. So, I will be titling them as The Mast Looks Back, colon, whatever it is I'm reviewing.

NOW, the good stuff...

This is just a quick update and prod to all of you who have been vaguely interested in what I say and wish to join me in what looks to be an amazing year for comics (All of you being hypothetical since nobody leaves COMMENTS. I'll cut you).

As you all know - unless you're squares that don't rigorously keep up with all the ins and outs of comic news - Siege is almost upon us!

Marvel's 2010, Bendis-helmed mega-event puts out issue #1 of 4 this month. As you can imagine, I am incredibly excited. In honour of this, I figured I'd do some promoting. I bring you wallpapers and mini-posters for the visual art-inclined amongst you to get excited over. Do what you will with them!





















Wallpaper 1:





Wallpaper 2:





Wallpaper 3:





Unrelated to Siege, but fun:





Edit that to suit your own needs. I did. Except I AM a member of The Avengers for realsies.

The first two wallpapers and the I.D. card are courtesy of Hidden Robot.

Additionally, because I am so good to all of you and you can't always access Welcome to the Mast or contact me:





That, for those of you thinking of getting into this saga, is a checklist of ALL the comics that will contain the story of Siege; minor or major tie-ins alike. If you need help separating the minor from the major due to money constraints, by all means leave me a comment.

Again, if anyone wishes to be brought up to speed on the events before Siege, allowing for a smoother new-fan transition, leave me a comment. That or you can check out The Marvel Comics Database.

I'm so excited for this, guys. The best part is that Siege #1 is only SIX days away! The very first edition of Thursday's Comics will contain Siege #1! It's such a big deal that I might save it for Friday...we'll see. You've got SIX days (Five if you live in Europe), so make sure you don't miss this!

Until then, peace!

*By the way, The Mast is myself and the name of the blog. Hence me welcoming you to it in the title of the blog. Sorry for the confusion, you fools. Fools I've not felt since...

-The Mast

The Mast Blogs: The Best of 2009 (Part 2: Music Awards and What's to Come in 2010).

Sup, yo?

Welcome back to The Best of 2009 with me, your hose, Da Mazt. Not really, it's The Mast. I never got that, did you? The whole idea of replacing letters in slang terms even though it's the same amount of letters anyway. It's spelled "Skills", not "Skillz". Ya can't type the S?!

...

ANYWAY...welcome back. This part of The Best of 2009 will focus on a few musical things and a somewhat semi-brief run-down of what to expect from comics, music and Welcome to the Mast in 2010. If you're joining me after having read the first part, thanks! If you've never read my blog before, take a seat right over there.

My musical top 10 end-of-year lists are somewhat legendary and have been for a long time. I used to do this every year on my journal (Still may), but now this place takes priority. So, whilst this site is primarily for comics, this music list is probably more awaited and will be more viewed. Hey, more people dig music than comics...I accept this.

Also, seeing as this is the end of a decade for all intents and purpose, I will be doing my Top 10 Albums of the Decade; a first for me. I can't remember having done this before.

I will use this moment to brief you on how this is going down. After I list the Top 10 Albums of 2009 (Obviously including the award for Best Album of 2009), I will then give the list for Top 10 Albums of the Decade (Implicitly including Best Album of the Decade). Now...here's where it may get confusing, so I've simplified it. This is how I'm going to do it:

It makes logical sense that the best 10 of the decade are the 10 previous yearly winners (This year included). However, I want to be 100% accurate, so I will be including any candidates from any year of the decade, regardless of winning. Let me give an example:

Whilst there are going to be 10 specific Album of the Year winners, there is one album that DIDN'T win album of the year, but is still better than all other contenders besides the one it lost to. That is the only exception.

Therefore there are two from the same year and, as a result, I have omitted any entries from 2002, which was somewhat of a weak year compared to others.

Whew, with that in mind, let's get this show going!

Music Awards:

• Worst Song of 2009
  
• Best Song of 2009
  
• Worst Album of 2009
• Top 10 Albums of 2009/Best Album of 2009
• Top 10 Albums of the Decade/Best Album of the Decade

I wasn't sure how to pick the winner for this first award, simply because there are so...so many candidates. I thought I had it pegged, but then I remembered a song that is so unconscionable that it HAS to win.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the winner of the award for Worst Song of 2009...


Down by Jay Sean.

It was going to be Boom, Boom, Pow by The Black Eyed Peas until a week or two ago. The more I heard this song, the more I realised the choice was academic.

What about this song is so bad? EVERYTHING. I literally do not see a redeeming quality in either the music or the aesthetic. The music is terribly and imminently boring, it's par for the course nowadays; a man who is obviously dressed by a stylist in effort to please chicks, singing generic R&B with autotune on his voice.

The fact that he's British is what bothers me. I have no issue with anyone singing in American accents, because it's what most people are used to having been raised on mostly American music. You pick it up when you sing along, like an accent.

However, Jay Sean actually seems to wish he was an American R&B singer.

Oh, and it has Lil Wayne on it.

-+-

The song of the year doesn't actually have any artwork because it's not a single, so you'll just get a picture of who created such a masterpiece. There really was no contest for this award, as far as I'm concerned! The winner of the award for Best Song of 2009 is none other than...


Colonised Mind by Prince.

This was the first song I heard from ONE of his new albums, and I instantly just fell in love with it. It heightened my anticipation for his new work to unprecedented degrees.

You see, Prince always makes good albums, but nowadays he tends to have amazing songs more than amazing albums. His last AMAZING album was probably Musicology back in 2004. However, every year he releases an album, he usually wins Best Song.

This song is everything that the winner of Worst Song is not. Every single aspect of this song, musically, is outstanding. Most notably, Prince's guitar work is flawless. Literally perfect. The tone of the notes, the flow with which he plays and the style he plays in...it's all perfect. Colonised Mind is a tremendously slow, gorgeous piece of soulful music with a solo that could probably part an ocean.

This is why he remains the single greatest songwriter (Not necessarily album-maker) of all time, because he can write songs like Colonised Mind. If you haven't heard it, you seriously need to. I'm not about to outwardly promote illegal downloading, since I don't do that. I'm sure you can get hold of it, though.

The only song that came close this year, individually, was Heads Will Roll by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I'm sad that I can't spend time gushing about how fucking out of this world Heads Will Roll is, because it didn't win. Just...hear it.

-+-

This next award is for Worst Album of 2009. Bearing in mind that there is a lot of music I hate, I opted to interpret this category as an award for the worst album I bought this year. So, with the big categories fast approaching, let's get through this one quickly! I can hardly contain my excitement.


Depart From Me by Cage.

Now, I like Cage.

He's one of the best modern hip hop MCs there is and if you haven't heard his Hell's Winter album, DO SO. I just...can't put my finger on what went wrong on this album.

It seems like he got his head so far stuck up his own ass while trying to be introspective and angsty that he forgot to take it out. Somewhere in between slowly becoming a sellout and letting Shia LeBeouf convince him to do more commercial music, Cage is now the MC with the most appropriate name in hip hop. He's caged, and I fear he'll never break out again.

It's a shame.

-+-

Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. The time has come to unveil, in succession, the Top 10 Albums of 2009/Best Album of 2009 and the Top 10 Albums of the Decade/Best Album of the Decade!

It's been an incredibly hard list to configure. How to arrange them, what albums to include, which to omit etc. It's been killer. I do feel that I am entirely happy with the final list, especially the one covering the decade, and I do think it'll shock you if you know my tastes.

Without further stalling, and with the top five of each list accompanied by a review, here are my Top 10 Albums of 2009 from last to first!


10. Wavering Radiant by Isis.


9. The Great Misdirect by Between the Buried & Me.


8. Journal for Plague Lovers by Manic Street Preachers.


7. Crack the Skye by Mastodon.


6. Merriweather Post Pavilion by Animal Collective.


5. Lotus Flow3r by Prince.

This is a very, very good album.

I have to say that I don't necessarily think it would be this high as an album if the year had produced way more competition, album-wise, but it's still a terrific album.

A welcome return to his more funk-infused rock and gospel style sound, Lotus Flow3r came as part of a three album set. The second was MPLSoUND; a good album, but not top 10 material, and Elixer by Bria Valente. The latter isn't a Prince album, it's a Prince-written album for his latest protege (Damn good, considering Prince's proteges are usually throwaway).

Lotus Flow3r has a consistently exciting feel, but nothing that truly blows you away aside from a few songs. Those songs include the likes of Colonised Mind, the cliched-but-beautiful 4Ever and Dreamer. Trust me when I tell you that Dreamer sounds like it could have been written by Hendrix. It's such a raw, gritty guitar monster, and I love that. Prince actually packs quite a punch on that song, vocally. He sounds like he's really angry, I dig it!

Love like Jazz is a very nice, understated little gem and Wall of Berlin is a jittery, innuendo-laden, foot-tapping sing-along.

77 Beverly Park ranks as one of my favourite songs on the album. It begins with an echoey, almost menacing riff that you could put sunglasses on in slow motion to. Only then does it segue into an utterly beautiful piece of acoustic guitar music. It reminds me, quite literally, of a park during blossom season. So, so beautiful and one of my favourite instrumentals of all time.

Prince is the MASTER of the song, he is. He is THE best ever, I feel, at writing songs. Albums? Despite having an album in my top five of ALL TIME, and a few others that rank up there, he doesn't have as much consistency with making stellar albums as a whole. On the flipside, if anyone else wrote these albums as their debut, people would rave. The only reason Lotus Flow3r is only very good as opposed to AMAZING is because of the man writing it.

By anyone else's standards, it would be a lifetime high watermark. By Prince's standards, it's solid to very good.


4. It's Blitz! by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

I do believe this is their highest ranking album in any list I've ever done!

When I listened to this album with the expectation that it'd just be another dose of fine Yeah Yeah Yeahs-esque alternative rock, I figured I was right. What I didn't know was that those two-guys-and-a-girl that comprise the band had decided to throw me a curveball. An apt title, because I did feel blitzed by the onslaught of overwhelmingly soft electronica, pinned down by an unusually docile sounding Karen O.

Far from her maniacal, Karen-Carpenter-on-crack approach to vocals that she adopted on all their work up until Show Your Bones, Karen O really establishes herself on this album as a premier female vocalist in the music world. Everyone has been raving about Zero, and it's an amazing song, but it's definitely nowhere near the best on this album.

Dull Life, Soft Shock, Runaway and Skeletons are all so impeccable, just to name a few. It's a truly lovely, hauntingly beautiful album. Heads Will Roll carries with it an uncannily accurate depiction of early '90s eurodance nostalgia, too. That's a pretty amazing song. When I say it's pretty amazing, consider that an intentionally grand understatement.

This is a truly remarkable, amazing album.

They're one of my most-liked bands, this is probably my favourite of all their work.

I recommend it, highly.


3. Red Light Fever by Hot Leg.

If you remember the extremely awesome band that was The Darkness, then you'll remember their amazing and irrepressable frontman, Justin Hawkins. Hot Leg is his new band. If you're already thinking that you know what to expect, you're probably right.

This wasn't even on my mind until the day before I put this up.

My friend suggested that we both listen to it, and I obliged to crack it out as I still hadn't given it a proper listen.

My, oh my.

The Darkness were blighted by everyone thinking they were a joke band due to their outwardly comedic appearances (Justin, really. Nobody else). What people failed to recognise was the fact that The Darkness contained one of the most legitimately talented songwriters of modern times, and one of the best guitar duos of modern times (Justin Hawkins and his brother Dan).

The band split after one insane album and another very good one. Dan formed the mediocre Stone Gods, and Justin Hawkins formed the diabolically named Hot Leg. It IS one of the worst/best names ever.

Let me cut to the chase. Red Light Fever is extraordinarily camp, it is outrageously bombastic and incomparably over the top.

It's also one of the best slices of balls-out, straight-up rock 'n' roll you'll hear...ever. Justin Hawkins has a falsetto voice that's both monumentally epic and side-splittingly hilarious, putting both to great effect on the album. For an example, see the video for Cocktails on YouTube.

The guitar work, as suspected, is paramount and full of solos. Justin manages to cram so much amazing, sing-along melody into any song he writes that it's almost sickening. Whether it's an audacious keyboard solo, whether it's from his voice or the perfectly-timed harmony vocals, or the creme-de-la-creme string-fiddling of his guitar, there's melody coming from all angles.

I had the good fortune of seeing these guys on their first ever live show and they floored the room. It was a room no bigger than my bedroom, but they floored it. As Hot Leg played every song off their album, plus more, I felt such nostalgia and deja vu. I saw The Darkness on their album release day; they were playing in HMV. They played with such enthusiasm that I truly believed they were the kind of band to give it their all whether there were 10 or 1,000 people watching.

As Justin Hawkins went around this tiny room, soloing, on the shoulders of a fan just as he did at the HMV gig...I realised something. Not only was this going to be another forgotten classic in modern rock 'n' roll, but Justin Hawkins was doomed to forever be that guy from The Darkness.

I've focused on Justin a lot, because it's essentially all him. He has a habit of making instant classics...if they got the fame. I was reminiscing to The Darkness no more than a year after their debut came out. Like that album, Red Light Fever by Hot Leg exudes an undeniable sense of tuneful and instantaneous timelessness.

I'll never, ever forget the experiences I've had with The Darkness and if Hot Leg's insatiable, tooth-achingly enjoyable debut album is anything to go by, then neither will you if you give it a chance.

Do give it a chance, won't you?


2. The B.Q.E. by Sufjan Stevens.

For the longest time, I thought this was going to win the award. Indeed, as objective as I can be, I do think this is the most genius album of the year. The difference between this and the winner is that I enjoyed the winner more.

This album is relatively different where Sufjan Stevens is concerned. It's quite different where most albums are concerned! The B.Q.E. is actually a soundtrack to a movie written by Stevens himself, as an artistic exploration of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Let it not be said that the guy isn't ambitious.

For as long as I've been listening to the guy, that's one of his greatest hallmarks, his ambition. He doesn't seem to be bound by perceptions of: "Wow, I can't do that!". Mike Patton is the same way, so is Prince. Great musicians do not assume they cannot do anything; they just do it. Of course, this is thanks to the fact that Sufjan Stevens can play pretty much any instrument, thus not requiring him to hire any musicians unless it's necessary.

The B.Q.E. is a glorious, wonderfully-conceived and executed piece of orchestra beauty. It delicately and seamlessly mixes neo-classical orchestration with Stevens' trademark folk style, blended with lumps of electronica. This is no more evident than on Movement IV: Traffic Shock, which is a very stuttery piece of classical electronica. It's also very evocative! It really does sound like what it's called...whatever a traffic shock is.

The album is definitely meant to be listened to as a whole, and as such I can't really pick out highlights. I just feel that it's an album of such genius, but not only in conception, in accessibility.

Anyone, I think, with a relatively good understanding and appreciation of the arts should invest in this album/film package. You will not regret it.

Now we come to the moment most people I've spoken to have been waiting for. What is the Best Album of 2009? Who wins this award?!

The winner of the award for Best Album of 2009 is...









WAIT FOR IT...BECAUSE I'M HAPPY THIS WON AND I'M BUILDING SUSPENSE WITH CAPS AND OVER-USE OF THE ENTER KEY!












1. Liebe ist für Alle Da by Rammstein.

Yes! Fucking yes!

I BADLY wanted Rammstein to end this decade with an Album of the Year award. They barely missed out with Mutter in 2001 (Coming 3rd to what would eventually become my two best albums of the decade) and I thought they'd win in 2005 with the amazing Reise, Reise and its sister album, Rosenrot; but they missed out to the album that's 4th on the decade list.

Let me just say that Rammstein won this because this is my favourite album of 2009, I think it's the best one to come out. They beat Sufjan Stevens to the top spot and I think he's one of the greatest songwriters EVER. Do not be convinced that they won this because it was a weak-ish year, because they did not.

Liebe ist für Alle Da is the answer to a question that my friend and I have always asked: Can Rammstein write an album or a song that ISN'T epic? The answer is no.

From the very opening song - as is customary for these epic bastards - you are just overwhelmed by intimidating grandiosity. When the opening vocal of an album is a big, German man shouting: "RAMM...STEIN!" whilst backed by an orchestra that God would commission to soundtrack the end times, you KNOW you're in for a treat.

Everything that makes Rammstein one of the most consistent, enjoyable and creatively talented bands of all time is here with the dial turned up to over 9,000. Rammlied is the gigantic, metal-chugger that opens the album and it's all go from then onward.

Ich Tu De Wih is a song with a chorus so epic that you'll learn German just to sing the fucking thing. I say this, but that element of Rammstein is not new, it's just much better this time around!

I knew they meant business this year when the first single off the album - the minimal powerhouse that is Pussy - had a video that was essentially just porn. I didn't know that the immense ambition of that video and that song would filter over onto the entire album. What's amazing is that Rammstein shed the only problem they've ever had, and that's the ability to keep up the pace of the former half of their albums in the latter half of their albums.

Herzeleid, Sehnsucht, Mutter; Reise, Reise and Rosenrot all have truly amazing first halfs. They just slightly tail off toward the end. Liebe ist für Alle Da does not.

The tradition of having slow songs as a closer is still here, but it doesn't detract from the album at all. When I heard the song Spring, from Rosenrot, I got to thinking that if they could just apply as much audacity and evocative simplicity to the songs they choose to close their albums, they would be better off.

It seems they heard me, because Roter Sand is an achingly lonely piece that seems to have been blown through the roof. The whistled tune that repeats throughout most of the song is such a genius touch, because it makes the song. Somehow.

I seriously cannot pick out highlights, because I'd end up naming all of the songs contained on the album. That's a first for me with Rammstein, it's why they have been getting progressively better with each album and it's why this album is so fucking critical.

Liebe ist für Alle Da is one of my favourites ever, it's also the winner of the award for Best Album of 2009.

About fucking time.

-+-

We're down to the nitty gritty, folks. We're through the looking glass. We're beyond the threshold. If these lines aren't doing anything for you, my bad.

Here we are, end of the line and end of a decade. I'm not going to speak on it, I'm just gonna let the list speak for itself. Here are my Top 10 Albums of the Decade (2000-2009)!


10. Delìrivm Còrdia by Fantômas.
Album of the Year: 2004.


9. Liebe ist für Alle Da by Rammstein.
Album of the Year: 2009.


8. In Rainbows by Radiohead.
Album of the Year: 2007.


7. Untrue by Burial.
Album of the Year: 2008.


6. Hail to the Thief by Radiohead.
Album of the Year: 2003.


5. Come On Feel the Illinoise! by Sufjan Stevens.
Album of the Year: 2005.


4. Ys by Joanna Newsom.
Album of the Year: 2006.


3. Kid A by Radiohead.
Album of the Year: 2000.


2. Lateralus by Tool.
Album of the Year Runner-Up: 2001.

I didn't do reviews for those albums because I wanted to save all my effort in gushing over the album that won this very important contest.

Lateralus was the album that EVERYONE has been guessing would be number 1, and would you look at that...it's not! Also, it WAS Album of the Year 2001 until I had the massive revelation that caused me to amend my list.

This album changed my life, truly. Were it not for the album that won, it would be top...and it had been for eight years. That is until an epiphany happened and I was floored by a surprise entrant.

Which surprise entrant? Let me introduce you to what is, in my opinion, the very best album of the past 10 years. The winner of Best Album of the Decade is...



















IS...?!






















1. Blackwater Park by Opeth.
Album of the Year: 2001.

I never saw it coming either, and I've had this album since its release day.

I listened to it recently on my friend's ridiculously expensive mega-earphones and experienced an epiphany I'd not felt since...(Get the reference and win a comic).

For the first time, I was rocked to the core by an album I'd always held in unbelievably high regard. It felt like the first time I had heard Lateralus, that feeling that you'd never look at music the same way again, that the album you are listening to has just changed how you perceive music.

There are so many reasons that it shocks me to say Blackwater Park by Opeth is the best album of the decade, but the fact is...I believe it to be.

Albums like this don't happen often, they just don't.

It's one of the few albums that I like to call "Beamed". I refer to Blackwater Park as "Beamed" because it's essentially so good that I don't believe Opeth wrote it. I believe it was beamed down from the far reaches of Space, by aliens far greater than ourselves. Like Lateralus, like Ys, like Kid A beneath it; Blackwater Park has just, for some reason, stolen the top spot and locked me in a stranglehold whereby I see it and hear it unlike I ever have before.

It's the weirdest thing.

What I will say, without trying to pick highlights, is that it is the ONLY album to combine all the possible elements that makes something musically epic, and time it perfectly. What am I referring to? The album closer.

An album closer should always be epic, like the opener should always be something to hook you in, and Blackwater Park's closing title-track isn't an exception. The song itself ends with the most epic crescendoed sound I've ever heard, with the most epic lyric and with the most fitting title...after an album's worth of wormhole busting epic had come before it.

There really hasn't been a better album over the past 10 years, in my opinion.

Blackwater Park by Opeth, the very best that music has had to offer from 2000 to now. The scariest part? I wouldn't bet against it making a top five appearance if I were to do this in 2020, you shouldn't either.

-+-

Honourable Mentions and Post-List Sum-Up:

With so many amazing albums this decade, you simply cannot offer them all a winning place, but you can acknowledge them. Here is a list of the albums that didn't make it, but still rank as some of the best this decade has offered us.

10,000 Days by Tool.
Damnation/Deliverance/Watershed by Opeth.
The Creek Drank the Cradle/Our Endless Numbered Days/The Shepherd's Dog by Iron & Wine.
Relationship of Command by At the Drive-In.
Permission to Land/One Way Ticket to Hell...and Back! by The Darkness.
In Absentia/Deadwing by Porcupine Tree.
Tomahawk/Mit Gas/Anonymous by Tomahawk.
The Rainbow Children/Musicology/3121/Planet Earth by Prince.
Ideas Above Our Station/Shatterproof Is Not a Challenge/Kill Your Own by Hundred Reasons.
Lift Your Skinny Fists like Antennas to Heaven by Jimmy Eat World.
The Eraser by Thom Yorke.
Myths of the Near Future by Klaxons.
Toxicity/Mezmerize/Hypnotize by System of a Down.
Peeping Tom by Peeping Tom.
Mutter/Reise, Reise/Rosenrot by Rammstein.
The Adversary by Ihsahn.
Prometheus: The Discipline of Fire and Demise by Emperor.
Jane Doe/You Fail Me/No Heroes/Axe to Fall by Converge.
God Hates Us All by Slayer.
Remission/Leviathan/Blood Mountain by Mastodon.
White Blood Cells/Elephant/Get Behind Me, Satan/Icky Thump by The White Stripes.
The Cold Vein by Cannibal Ox.
Hell's Winter by Cage.
The Green Album/Maladroit/Make Believe/The Red Album/Raditude by Weezer.
Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lake State by Sufjan Stevens.
Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age.

Plus many more!

Delìrivm Còrdia by Fantômas is also an album I want to pay special mention to. While this album is 10th on the decade's 10 best, I actually feel it is the most genius album of all time. I truly believe there is not a more out-there, amazingly genius or otherworldly conceived album in existence.

The only reason it's 10th is because, in spite of that, there are other albums I enjoy more on a listen-to-listen basis. I cannot begin to describe this album. It contains no single songs. Instead, it is one hour and 15 minutes of nightmarish, terrifying and skin-tingling soundscape that is the stuff of bad dreams made real.

Even now, listening to it, I feel tinges of terror and foreboding. The fact that Mike Patton wrote it all by himself is another incomprehensible point. Listen to it from start to finish, with earphones in and the lights off. Prepare yourself. That's all I can say.

With that said, there you have it! My comprehensive musical bible for the past 10 years.

---

I want to take the time to thank everyone who read part of this, all of this or any of it. I don't see reading as a chore, but with people less and less willing to sit down and read, having a blog can be a difficult hobby. So, from me to anyone reading this, a sincere thank you.

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting and thank you for the support.

What's to Come in 2010.

2010 looks like it's going to be a big year for Welcome to the Mast. I have ideas for a few interviews in the pipeline, people have been contacted so we'll see how that shapes up.

There are some very promising albums on the horizon, too. New efforts from the likes of Killing Joke, Jimmy Eat World, Sigur Rós and Mike Patton are slated for 2010 and that'll give me something to review here. Not to mention the fact that I'm seeing Rammstein in February and the legendary Ennio Morricone in April.

Iron Man 2 is coming out, I can't wait to see it and review it on here. Don't forget to go out and see this on opening day! Let's smash New Moon's record!

Obviously, the big deal for me and for this blog will be Siege. I'm madly looking forward to this event as you all know, and I really hope that it lives up to my expectations. I'm anticipating seeing how all my favourite characters develop and what 2010 holds for them all, and for comics.

As for the blog itself, I have plans. If I'm still doing this by next December and if it's gained more success and traffic, I will be purchasing a proper domain name and revamping my ENTIRE page to look like a legitimately professional website. Blogspot's layout is lovely and I can't really complain, but if I wanna make the leap, then I need to leap big.

That remains uncertain, but as of now I don't plan to go anywhere.

So, from The Mast to the readers; thank you.

See you all in 2010 and have a brilliant New Year.

-The Mast