Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another fine edition of Thursday's Comics! I will be your awesome host, The Mast.
There are only THREE comics to review this week, but when I say they are mostly epic, you KNOW it's true. You callin' me a liar? Fuck off.
Anyway, let's get this meal underway and eat some serious reviews and shit. Hungry?
Deadpool Team-Up #896.
No surprises here, then.
Deadpool teams up with time/space-hopping trucker U.S. Ace, who is looking for a way to escape Earth and get back to the stars and to his family. He meets Deadpool after Deadpool, dressed as a trucker, almost runs his truck off the road. He goes to meet up with The Highwayman, with Deadpool in tow, to get a job. It turns out that the parts he is couriering are the very parts he needs to get back to space. Naturally, the catch is that there are two trucks full of them, so he needs Deadpool's help. Thus, we have our team-up.
After running over a raccoon, they are ambushed by the raccoon's vengeful family and a fight ensues in which lots of raccoons die and the trucks eventually crash, revealing the cargo to U.S. Ace. Deadpool being Deadpool (Now at least) unintentionally blows up all of the cargo, leaving U.S. Ace rather perturbed.
The issue ends with U.S. Ace trying to get a courier job in Hell, with Deadpool driving off in a truck singing a song about how he dislikes U.S. Ace.
Make no mistake, the only reason I buy this is because it's a Deadpool comic and I didn't come this far to stop now. In all seriousness, that's the nature of Deadpool Team-Up as I've said, you know? One month it could be a great team-up with a good writer, the next it could be mediocre or even shit. This one was shit.
A totally forgettable, boring, unnecessary issue.
Siege: Embedded #2 of 4.
THIS is the shit I'm talking about.
We last left off with Ben Urich and Will Stern befriending the villainised Asgardian, Volstagg, and heading off to bring down or expose Norman Osborn with journalism.
Not a great deal really happens in this issue, but there is some REALLY enjoyable dialogue between the three characters as they're essentially road tripping in a run-down vehicle. A rather funny piece occurs when, just after they stop for fuel, Volstagg says he has questions regarding the magazine that Will bought him to amuse himself, entitled American Women (A fashion magazine). Volstagg asking what the obsession is with standing in front of a mirror, disrobed, is very pleasant.
The bewilderment of Volstagg comes across as so genuine that the language and cultural barrier between this god and these two humans is very acceptable and totally enjoyable. It's almost heartwarming in a way, maybe because Volstagg is just like a big and stupid lump of flesh with a heart of gold.
Meanwhile, as they head toward their goal, Todd Keller - a very Fox News-esque anchorman hired by Osborn's goons to make him look good - begins broadcasting spin journalism to the nation. As he pipes on about how necessary the Asgardian invasion is, we get some more really humourous dialogue between the three characters in the van. Volstagg asks why he is so bad, and after they compare him to the fire giants of Asgard, Volstagg quips that the only way to kill them is to cut their heads off. Stern smirks at this with a very sarcastic: "Oh yeah?". It's so good, Brian Reed does a fine, fine job on this issue.
Eventually, they hit a huge roadblock and H.A.M.M.E.R. agents ambush the van, demanding that they turn over Volstagg and telling them that they're under arrest. This isn't part of the plan. The next thing you see is Volstagg nearly decapitating a H.A.M.M.E.R. agent, jacking his glider and doing battle with an army of them in the sky. It's amazingly exciting.
Urich and Stern get captured and arrested, but Stern manages to overcome the guard and they both escape. Jumping back into the van they go driving off in search of Volstagg, with the issue coming to a close.
I must say that after such a reasonably slow start, enjoyable as it was, this issue really does pick the pace up. Unlike Civil War: Frontline, which had some good parts yet was mostly good in theory, Siege: Embedded really does give you an exciting and captivating feel of "the little man's" take on a big event.
Really, I'm totally looking forward to the next issue now.
Siege #2 of 4.
I had this issue spoiled for me by two people. One was admittedly unintentional and came with an apology, the other was by a despicable fucking shitcock who I hope loses something dear to him in a car fire.
Despite this, Siege #2 was still an utterly amazing, shocking and exciting read. I just wish I didn't know what happened.
EVERYTHING kicks off with a bang, there's hardly a dull moment. Ares is seen taking the fighting King Balder as he implores Ares to stop. His continual efforts to dissuade Ares and convince him that Osborn is the bad guy falls on deaf ears. That is until Heimdall the All-Seer shows up. Being the All-Seer, Heimdall is known to not be lying and as he lays out all this revelatory info, Ares is visibly shocked by this. He glances at the battlefield with a renewed sense of clarity and with a grimace, he says Osborn's name.
I swear, if you have ANY appreciation for artistic talent then you need to check these issues out. Olivier Coipel can DRAW like a motherfucker, I swear. You often find yourself forgetting that these images are just pencil and colour on paper, and that is the mark of true escapism that I don't think you'll ever get from an iReader or whatever.
Thor, having been grounded temporarily by the combined might of Osborn's Initiative members, is rescued by the perpetual bad-ass known as Maria Hill...with a rocket launcher. She blasts at the group enough to scatter them, while Jason - someone she has met from Broxton presumably - tries to drag Thor into the back of the pick-up. X-Ray from The U-Foes appears behind Maria Hill, as Karla - Dark Ms. Marvel, remember. Karla "Moonstone" Sofen - is confronting her. Thor, with the last of his available energy, smacks them both as far away as he can to save Hill. They get him into the truck and speed off.
The scene shifts to the hideout of The New Avengers, and we see Steve Rogers giving a speech about how far this has gone and that it needs to end now. It's revealed that he is talking to the combined might of The New Avengers, The Mighty Avengers and The Young Avengers. The plan? To take Osborn out once and for all.
Karla is about to head off after them before Osborn stops her. He sends Daken instead, giving him total permission to trash Broxton and kill anyone in his way. Before he can full finish his orders, Ares crashes into him from above! I swear, I got goosebumps when I read this.
He screams at Osborn, accusing him of lying, to which Osborn says that it was the only way he could get him into battle. When suggesting that Ares would have done the same, Ares denies this, saying that he was tricked into fighting his "brothers" (Norse gods/Greek gods. I guess they're brothers in deity-hood) and that he will keep his promise; he'll pull off Osborn's helmet and cut his head off. Osborn cockily replies that Ares' defection is a shame, and out of nowhere we see Sentry appear! He deals a swift right hand to Ares and smacks him into a structure opposite, a statue I believe.
It's such a heroic moment for Ares to change sides, and it's a really cool juxtaposition. On one side you've got Ares who is this gruff, slightly hairy god of war. On the other you have the flowing blonde locks and the glowing aura of Sentry, someone who couldn't look more like a goodie two-shoes if he has a crucifix on his neck. Yet, the roles are reversed.
A rather visceral fight begins, with Ares understandably getting a beating put on him. He manages to impale Sentry with the back of his axe and does a bit of damage by ripping it out. When he does so, we see a black tentacle-esque thing creep from the wound and it becomes clear that The Void is about to become dominant. Sentry begins absolutely battering Ares, breaking his nose (Most of the bones in his face I imagine) and wrecking his body with some truly sickening blows. Eventually, he grabs Ares and everyone, mid-battle, begins to cast their gazes skyward.
With everyone watching, jaws-agape and shock on their faces, Sentry proceeds to literally rip Ares in half. The blood, spine and intestines of the Greek war god spill out all over the place and Sentry is left standing there with glowing eyes, holding one half of Ares by his arm. I really, REALLY started to dig Ares even more than I did before...and he gets killed. What's more shocking is how graphic it was! I really dd not expect such gore in a Marvel comic, especially since I was just talking about how Haunt is refreshing in that sense.
The art, again, is truly phenomenal.
It's quite a sad moment, to be honest. There's no redemption, there's no heroic saviour moment at all. Ares realises his fault, tries to kill Osborn and gets ripped in half for his troubles. Bendis has a lot of guts, no pun intended, to kill off such a favourite like this.
The comic cuts back to the hideout and we see Nick Fury and his Secret Warriors prepping a jet, along with the combined Avengers rosters. Bucky, in somewhat of a weird move, insists that Steve takes the shield, saying that the world needs Captain America. He pulls HIS Captain America mask back and, upon being asked what he's going to do, he says: "I'll do what I do.", and reveals a HUGE gun.
I truly hope they don't chicken out and let Steve become Captain America as well as, or instead of, Bucky. That'd suck. It's really take away from all the work they've done with him. Regardless, Jarvis (Stark's butler) appears and tells Steve that it's good to see him again. He hands him a metallic briefcase, to which Steve asks if it's what he thinks it is. Jarvis tells him to get it to "him", and that "he" is nearby, if they're heading to Asgard/Broxton.
We cut back to Broxton, with Daken tracking Thor and the others while keeping in contact with Osborn. Just as he finds him, Thor blasts Daken with a bolt of lightning. This causes him to fall to the ground with most of his skin missing, charred to the bone, but alive.
I tell you, this is a VERY brutal comic for Marvel. It's definitely helping put across the idea that this IS a war, a big fight to the finish.
Thor says that he'll defend his home, his friends and his people until his very last breath. Osborn hears this and tells Sentry to go give Thor his wish. FUCK YES! Sorry, it's just that Thor Vs Sentry is something a lot of us have been waiting for and finally, it looks like it's going to happen.
As Osborn is giving the order, Taskmaster calls to him and advises him to turn around. He does so, and we see Captain America's shield getting closer and closer to him in the reflection of his helmet, about to smack him in the face.
The issue ends.
NO! I WASN'T READY FOR IT TO END, YOU BASTARDS! What's even MORE frustrating is that we don't get Siege #3 until MARCH FUCKING 17TH! Grr!
If you can't tell, I recommend this issue beyond belief. I recommend this STORY beyond belief. It has since been revealed that Siege #1 will not be getting reprinted when it sells out, so if you want to get into this and own the single issue, you'd be well advised to go get it while it's available. I'm not sure if the rest of the issues are the same, but really, you shouldn't take the chance.
Bendis is doing utterly phenomenal work on this story and it is living up to the hype so far. I really hope it keeps up the pace and leads us into The Heroic Age (Marvel's title for post-Dark Reign/Siege activities) with a bang. Accompanied by Olivier Coipel's flawless and painstakingly evocative artwork, you really can't go wrong.
Get it, that's all I'm saying.
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For now, that's all you're gonna get, but I should be back on Saturday with a pretty fun post, that is if I am not too busy. If not Saturday, then Sunday or Monday at the EXTREME latest.
Thanks for reading, whoever did read this, and I hope you found this post enjoyable!
Until next time, peace.
-The Mast
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